The sentimental fool with an ego

Brought Christian to a trial class at Tien Hsia today.

I could see through the small glass window of the door that he was trying hard not to cry when the teacher closed the door to commence the lesson. He brightened up when the door opened for a latecomer, allowing him to spot the faithful ol' mum outside.

And thus, this mother stood outside his class door for 1.5 hours, not daring to leave, just so he could see me through the glass panel whenever he felt insecure.

I asked him, while driving home -

Christian, I saw you rubbing your eyes with your sleeve earlier in class. Why did you rub your eyes?

Ch: Er.. Because there was something in my eye.

Me: ReAALLy??

Ch: Yes. (emphatically) There was something in my eeyeee..

Me: Guffaws uncontrollably

Back to work - 24th October 2011

(It's funny how this blog undergoes a dry spell, before an outpouring of posts stored up in my head find their way here.)

It's been more than two months since Calista was born. The blur of feed, coaxing her to sleep, feed, catching up on news / tv shows, picking christian up from school and entertaining him... will soon give way to the routine of feed, work, pump, lunch, pump, home, entertain christian/feed calista. 

I'll miss these early days of being with Calista, and having some time to myself. Hope she will continue to sleep soundly at night (she's been sleeping through about 7 hrs at night, as long as she's snug in her kiddopotamus swaddle) and not kick into 'reverse cycling', where she sleeps in the day whilst mama's not around and nurses all night.

She barely sleeps in the day (half an hour at a time.. maximum 2 - 3 hours in the day), has started talking / complaining a lot (her expressions when she complains make us rather sympathetic..it's as if she's recounting some korean tragic drama), smiles whenever she sees the faintest smile on our faces, and spits the pacifier out whenever we try popping it in (as if disgusted that we are attempting to con her).

Anyway, here's the girl at 2 months old -

 

 

Christian's 3rd Birthday - a photolog

I didn't have many birthday parties when I was young. Of the few that I had, however, I remember them vividly, thanks to photographs taken by my parents.

It is magical, how a single photograph can transport me back to those days when I was a mere 6 or 8 year old, clutching on to my birthday present. Thanks to a photo my mum took of me, I still remember one of my first birthday presents very clearly - a pink ceramic  piggyteddy bank, and remembering that gift brings up those heady days of childhood.

So, here's a photolog of Christian's treats/presents, in the vain hope that he'll see this post when he's grown up one day and remember the days when he was 3 years old.

1st, a trip to the Flyer 

His Dyson hand-held vacuum (he looks like one of the ghostbusters when he carries it, zapping up dust bunnies!)

 

Celebration in school (he loved showing off his cake to his friends, but asked "what happened to the thomas cake?" after it was sliced and divvy-ed up) 

 

 

At explorer kids, downtown east

 
    

Celebration at home (I had to agree to getting a separate cake for the family in order to get his assent to bringing a cake to school) 

 

Celebration at P's sister's house (he was so happy after the bday song was sung, when the cookie was abt to be cut, that he unconsciously shook his hips left-right-left. *grin*)

 

 Some of his presents 

 

Christian's 3rd Birthday

"It's Christian's birthday, now, today!"

He was initially nonchalant when I told him while in the car the day before his birthday that it'll be his birthday tomorrow. Got into his 'No, don't want' mood - "No, I don't want thomas train cake. I don't want my birthday." until I told him.. being 3 means he can finally play with playdoh, upon which he went "OOooooOOOooh....".  *grin*

I woke up to a mini tantrum of his in the morning, which was quickly defused when his father told him it was his birthday and he gets to open his present of a Dyson hand-held vacuum cleaner. (He loves to play with the vacuum cleaner at my mum's house, and we purchased the Dyson thinking it'll serve the dual purpose of cleaning the car and allowing him to feel useful.) He also learnt the meaning of "Finally", when P taught him "It's Finally your birthday today."

It's hard to believe that my wee baby is now all of THREE years old. P mused "Though we've only known Christian for a relatively short time, the journey we had is so intense and he's endeared himself to us so that we can't imagine life without him anymore."

Taking stock at this juncture, our 'baby' can now:

• sleep 10 hours at night
• Hop and jump around
• Wash his own hands; put his shoes on
• Complete a six-piece (or more) puzzle
• Identify shapes, colours, letters; count to twenty
• Help with simple household tasks
• Play spontaneously with two or three children
• Play "pretend" games such as being a fireman 
• Recount incidents which happen 9 months or 2 days ago
• Describe a logical sequence (christian goes to school, finish learning, then mama picks me up. When Christian sees mama he'll say 'MAMA!" and mama will say "Hello!" then mama helps christian into the car, help me wear seat belt, then mama goes in the car, wears seatbelt, turns the engine on, then we go home.. riiiight?")
• Tell us when he wants to use the toilet
• Feed himself 
• Speak in twenty-or-more-word sentences. In fact, he qualifies to be a WTO-negotiator. case in point: i tell him he can have a story before bed. He goes "I want SOOooo maNY stories!" Me: only one. Him: Can i take 5 books? Me (wavering): erm, not so many..  Him: OK! 3! 3! Me: Fine, 3 then. 
• Use plurals (cats, dogs, etc.)
• Sing / hum a simple tune
• Ask A LOT of the "Five W" questions
• Demonstrate a three-minute attention span (does 8 mazes in a row)
• Feel shame when caught doing something wrong
• Understand difference between self and younger children
• Employ his sense of humor and enjoys making people laugh

School

Christian's school had a mid-autumn party last Friday. He threw a major tantrum at the end of the party, when I refused to let him have another piece of mooncake. Refused to go in to the classroom with me so I could view the exhibit of their works for the past month, and tried to bite me like a feral animal. More on that later.

Anyway, we've been thinking about changing school cos it's been a year, and it's still a struggle getting him to go to school. He keeps telling us he doesn't like this 'big school' and prefers the 'small school'. We wonder if there are too many children at this school, or if there's something else that bothers him which he's unable to tell us. We like this place for its physical environment is quite unmatched by other schools. However, school A which we are considering, is very strong in teaching Chinese, whereas school B, the other school much nearer our house, is more cosy and has interesting programs like yoga and violin. Why is it not possible for a school to have all 3 aspects - strong curriculum, great outdoor environment and interesting enriching programs?

Sigh. This school thing is keeping me awake at night.

Anyway, some pictures of his present school -

 

Jesus and his Castle

P brought Christian to a church wedding last Saturday, so i could have the morning 'off'. Christian saw a picture of Jesus at the entrance and said 'That's Jesus.' Began asking P questions "Where's Jesus?" and "I want to find Jesus."

The replies we've been giving him have been quite unsatisfactory from his toddler-point of view - "Jesus is everywhere. Jesus is in our heart. Jesus is present when we love each other."

Just yesterday, while sitting on the potty, he launched into a "Remember the castle? Daddy bring me? I saw Jesus. Where is Jesus?"

After being given the usual reply of "Jesus is everywhere" he goes "I want to find Jesus in the market." and "Jesus is in our heart" - "I want to open my body up and find Jesus."

 

Why are you here, Daddy?

In an attempt to balance out the many Christian-Mama posts, here's one on Christian and his Daddy.

P brought Christian to a big playground near our house on Sunday morning, so I could sleep in with the baby.
They saw two Caucasian toddlers with a maid, and a local boy with his grandma at the playground. The local boy had some behavioural issues..he'd run around and then suddenly fall flat to the ground on his back, eliciting surprised looks from Christian.

Christian stared at the boy for a bit then asked P

"where is his daddy?"
P: His daddy is at home.
Ch: Why is his daddy at home?
P: Erm, because his daddy is still sleeping.
Ch (after a pause): Why are you here, Daddy?
P: Because I love you.
Ch: *smiles*

After this exchange, P felt his efforts in bringing Christian to the playground were well rewarded.

(Though after hearing this account from P, I chided P for leading Christian to think that his mama's not at the playground because she doesn't love him (!!!))

Calista - Korean / Meatball?

My parents, after not having seen the baby for two weeks, commented that she looks Korean. My helper thinks she's like an irresistible meatball. =7

Christian's favourites

Cheryl says she thinks i'm biased towards Christian. It may seem that way, given that the blog posts are mainly about him right now.. but that's just cos Calista is currently a creature who mainly pees, poos and feeds.. I'm sure we'll have more posts focused on her once her personality starts to shine through.
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I was sitting on the floor playing with Christian yesterday when he pointed to a toy and said that's his cos it's blue.

Ch: "Blue is my favourite colour."
Me: "Oh is that right?"
Ch: "Yes, my favourite colour's blue."
(I chance upon the opportunity to quiz him on favourites, and of course, proceeded to ask him the all-important, self-gratifying question first.)

Me: Who's your favourite person?
Ch (without missing a beat): Mama!
Me (smiling, satisfied): Hmm..what's your favourite number?
Ch: C! C is for Christian!
Me: Number.. not alphabet.. number 1, 2, 3, 4 ?
Ch: 4! Er.. no.. 5! (I deduced it's cos we live on the 5th floor and have been asking him to press the lift button since young. Funny how things like that end up influencing a person's irrational favourites for life.)
Me: Erm..your favourite vehicle?
Ch: Trains!
Me: Your...favourite song?
Ch: "Old Macdonald"!
Me: Oh? Not 'Wheels on the Bus'?
Ch (slightly hesitant, but still sticks with his original answer): No. "Old Macdonald."
Me: Favourite food?
Ch: Watermelon!
Me: I meant food.. not fruit.. oh well.. fruit then..Not avocado? Or kiwifruit?
Ch: No.. erm.. watermelon AND avocado! I want avocado..

*we proceed to make avocado shake together, with him helping to scoop the flesh into the blender and pour the milk in*

^_^

The truth seeker

Your baby's brain is a Truth-Seeking mechanism. And it is this for one very simple reason: survival. If your baby does not know, on the gross level, that fire burns and that sharp things cut, and on the more finely tuned level the subtle aspects of the real world, its chances of survival are massively reduced. Your baby's brain is thus instinctively wired like a universal Sherlock Holmes, to hunt out the truth in order to increase its own chances of living successfully. 

He thus checks everything, including everything you the parent do, and sieves it through his massively powerful brain, checking, checking, checking with his logic, his senses and his intuition just how congruent you are...

This is why children (and indeed most adults) can bear all manner of destitution, pain and disability yet are still most hurt when someone does something that they consider unfair, or when they are cheated or lied to. 

Truth...is a complex affair that directly relates to consistency of message, discipline, behaviour and emotional stability.

- Tony Buzan

_______________________________________________________________________________

I just read the above quoted passage a few days ago, and it was fascinating to see it played out in real life shortly after. 

P and I brought Christian and Calista out over the weekend.. we were walking along Orchard Rd when there was a loud VRRROOOOM thanks to a souped-up motorbike. Christian remarked that it was sooo loud and I immediately took the chance to 'brainwash' him into thinking that motorbikes are dangerous vehicles which he should never get onto (erm..this might be a case of double standards given my previous history of riding an ex-boyfriend's motorbike for a year+.. but Ch doesn't have to know that, does he? *wink*)

Anyway, I took the opportunity to make an easy, blanket statement "Motorbikes are BAAAAad". 

Christian repeated after me. Peter raised his eyebrows and gave me a half-smile (he knew what this over-protective mama was trying to do).. and tried to inject some subtlety and objectivity - 

"Not all motorbikes are bad.. only sometimes." 

Christian immediately pounced upon the inconsistency between Mama and Daddy and told Peter "Mama said motorbikes are bad.." Peter repeated his stance that not all motorbikes should be considered evil.

Christian then addressed me and said "Mama, all motorbikes are bad, right?" 

P: No not all.. 

Ch (calmly): I'm not talking to you, Daddy. I'm talking to Mama. 

Peter's and my eyes widen in surprise at his assertiveness and perseverance in seeking the truth.

Ch (nodding as he speaks): All motorbikes are bad, right, mama?

Me: Erm.. Well.. okay.. sometimes.. motorbikes are dangerous and bad for us, sometimes. 

Ch: Oh. (satisfied at reaching a satisfactory conclusion between the discrepancy between Mama's and Daddy's statements) Sometimes motorbikes are bad. 

Contradiction and laughs

Christian has been driving me quite nuts.. he was ready to go back to school after his bout of chicken pox, but came down with flu and so had to skip the remaining days of school this week.

He was very clingy on Wednesday, asking me to bathe him, pat him to sleep and watch him eat etc etc. My days are peppered with "Do you want to play with me?" I've mostly been patient until last evening when I was surfing the web and he came to me and insisted on playing the games on starfall.com for the 3rd time that day. I told him he needs to give me some time to myself and he gave a mini sulk and walked away. (Of cos, the sulk was only for 2 minutes, before he came running back.)

Just this morning, I found the sliding door pushed slightly open and a burst of sunlight came through. There was a few moments of silence and anticipation. I knew it was Christian and raised my head to smile at him. He immediately cheered and burst into the room with a "Mama, you want to play with me?"

He pulled my arm and immediately let go with concern when I yawned. He thought he hurt me "Mama, does it hurt?" then realised I was merely yawning "Mama, why you yawn?"

Me: Becos I am sleepy.
Ch: Oh, are you sleepy?
Me: Yes.
Ch: Sleep more then.
Me: Huh?
Ch (pats the pillow): Sleep more then.
Me (pleasantly surprised to earn a reprieve): Wow. Ok, thank you!
Ch: (3 seconds later): Mama, you sleep more already? Can get up now?
Me (what short-lived happiness): -_-"