Sleep configurations

Christian had been sleeping with my parents ever since Calista was born. He first moved out of our room because she was a newborn who kept waking up, then cos he was having a cold / cough and we didn't want him to pass to her, then cos he had chicken pox and went to stay at my mum's house.

I felt immensely guilty every time I hear him say "i want to sleep with mama" / "i want mama to make me sleep".
On nights when I'm able to, I'll put him to bed by telling him stories / singing lullabies, but I find that it takes me very long to put him to bed cos he's so afraid i'll leave him. Often, he'll be ostensibly asleep (i'll feel his involuntary leg-jerks / slower, deeper breaths) when i leave the room, but he'll shout and cry the minute i leave the room and close the door. Sigh. This makes it very difficult as Calista often wants to feed around that time. I think it'll be much better once I stop b/feeding..

Anyway, three nights ago, my helper said he heard my voice whilst i was in the living room and told her 'i want mama'. Guilt overcame me and i decided to let him try and sleep with us in the same room. The first night was not so bad. She woke at 3-something am and he stirred a little, stretched his hand out to check i was there, and went back to sleep once i shushed him. The second night was terrible. He slept on a mattress on the floor, cried / threw an irrational tantrum at 1-something am. I had to wait till he was soundly asleep before daring to pump at 2.50am, and Calista woke demanding to be fed at 3.40am. All was well till 6am, when she wanted to feed again, and woke her brother up. He's such a light sleeper, i didn't even dare to turn the night lamp on and change her diaper, and now her bottom's a little red. It was difficult putting her back to bed at 6-something am cos her brother was fully awake and started talking, so i kicked P and asked him to bring Ch out.. All of us ended up sleep-deprived. Ch threw a tantrum and didn't want to go to school again.. and my mum said he yawned 3 times on the way to school. P looked zombified in the morning. As for me... well... i slept with the little one till 11.15am =P

Sigh. We are now back to him sleeping with my parents. It's not ideal, but i suppose it's for the best given how he's a light sleeper.

(on a related point, he's started querying - "why meimei feed and feed and feed? why she drink milk so many times?" *grin)