Numbers, according to Christian

Gonggong asks: "Christian, what number is this?"

Christian: "4!"

Gonggong again: "What number is this?"

Christian: "5!"

Gonggong: "How about this?"

Christian: "Very good!"

(Gonggong is so tickled he repeats this story to anybody who would listen.)

Christian's pet fish

"Mama, let's not eat this fish okay? Let's not eat my fish okay? It's my pet fish."

Letter to my 3 year old

To my dear Christian

This letter is long overdue.. I've been meaning to pen down my thoughts but, as you might understand, things have been rather busy around the house these days. Snatches of ideas and thoughts come to me at the weirdest hour, when I'm feeding your meimei, or when I lie awake at night after a midnight pumping session, unable to sleep.

How do I begin to tell you all that I wish to tell you; how do I even begin to describe all that makes you, you? As daddy says, that might fill a book.. and indeed your days are filling up this blog, post by post.

The past 3 years have been a whirlwind. We cannot imagine life Before Christian, nor can we remember much of it (though I do wistfully look back to those days with rose-tinted glasses, whenever you kiddos give me grief and I wish daddy and I were a carefree couple living a DINK (for your benefit, Double-Income-No-Kids) lifestyle. Some parents will shudder to tell their children that they wish for a life without their children, but I believe in keeping in real. And besides, by the time you read this letter, you should be able to understand that parents are people with their own friends and need for personal time too.

However, I say wholeheartedly, you are the shining joy of our lives and our days are much richer thanks to your presence. Seeing flashes of ourselves in you makes us proud, and yet concerned.. we wish for you to avoid the same mistakes we've made, to overcome the same personality weaknesses.. but I suppose we'll have to learn to let you make your own mistakes and that going through the failures will be the only way you can learn.

Parenthood is full of worry. We worry about your health, your frequent colds, your school life, whether you enjoy school.. we worry when your teacher asks us to practise holding pencils with you,  when your teacher tells us you are one of two children in class who have yet to master holding a pen and writing steady lines.. we worry about your behaviour in class.. whether the friends in school are teaching you bad habits of shouting and rowdy antics.. we worry about you being too dependent on us; about not speaking enough mandarin to you, and whether you will cope with primary school in future. Your father and I discuss trends in the working world.. trying to identify skills which would be most important in future so we know what to develop in you (is it knowing many languages? or having depth of knowledge and vocabulary in a single language? regurgitation of facts vs creative thinking? Well.. you get the idea.)

Parenthood is also like walking a tightrope - we have to balance between allowing you to explore and grow into your own person, and not being too permissive at the same time. Then when we try to teach you and guide you, we have to be careful not to be too restrictive and stifle your personality.

Much of the conversation between your Daddy and I these days are all about you, and increasingly, your sister. This is because you are the centre of our lives and I think about you every single hour.

You make us laugh heartily, and often. We laugh when you prove yourself to be quite the diplomat (Case in point 1 
Me: do you like Godma or Godpa more? Ch: I like Mama.. and Daddy.. and Godma. *pause* and Godpa too!
Case in point 2
Me: Don't you like mama anymore? (when he asks me to drive, and for gonggong to sit at the back of the car with him.) 
Ch: I like Mama... i like mama a lot.. but.. *thinks of how to get himself out of this, then proclaims* I like Mama, that's why I want you to drive.) 


We smile at your advanced negotiating skills, your innocence and your big-heartedness. Your enthusiasm for life puts us to shame. You teach us how to find joy in the simplest things like bubbles or a long soak in the bath. No matter how terrible we feel after a day of work, looking at you makes us forget everything else.

Thank you darling, for coming into our lives. Having you is such a joy, and such great responsibility.  The past 3 years of watching you grow and growing along with you have been challenging and rewarding as we see your personality emerge, and realise the beauty of God's creation and how great His love for us must be. We only pray that we'll be able to do our best, and that our best is enough for you.

Lots of love
Mama
_____________________________________________________
Christian at Day 1, 6 months, 1 year, 18 months, 2 years, 2.5 years and 3 years old.

Christian's 1st school performance

His school had a end-of-year concert yesterday at Biopolis auditorium. I was impressed with the costume, the multimedia used, the choreography of the dances, and the skits. What a world of difference from my K2 concert in an open-air CC.

I felt a swell of pride surge within me when I saw him appear on stage, in a silver futuristic costume. He seemed quite lost though, and his actions weren't always synchronised with that of his classmates'. I wonder if it's cos he was scanning the audience for me. During the finale, when all the children from all the classes performed together, he managed to spot me sitting far behind and waved so excitedly. I saw him beam and point at me, telling his teacher (presumedly) "that's my mama! that's my mama!", forgetting to dance. =7 

Christian on the Potty

Christian was prattling on and on so Mama had to exhort: "SSShhh..use your muscles and push your ng-ng out ok?"

Ch (pointing to his arms) Mama i have bone here and muscles too. I use my arms and push my stomach.

Mama: You have muscles in your stomach too. You can use your stomach muscles and push *makes a constipated face in attempt to gain compliance*

Ch (now pointing to his stomach): Why do i have muscles?

Mama: You have muscles everywhere.

Ch: Mama why don't i have bone in my stomach?
(wow that's a logical question..i.e. why do we have muscles everywhere but not bones everywhere)

Mama: Er...cos if there's bone in your stomach, your stomach can't expand after you eat food. The bone will block your expanding stomach. But i'm just guessing. You'll have to ask God yourself next time, if you see Him.

Ch: Oh. Where's God?

Mama: Erm.. in heaven, and in your heart.

Ch: Why is he in my heart? Can I take him out and talk to God?

Mama (stumped): Erm...No you can't take him out.

Ch: Why? Why can't I take him out and talk to God?

Mama: Cos he likes to stay in your heart.

*escapes to the room and asks the helper to help him off the potty*

__________________________________________________________

Gosh. It's time to research on how to educate preschoolers bout God.

Letter to my 3 month old

Dear Calista

You'll be 3 months old tomorrow! It's amazing how quickly that happened...we've gotten into the groove of things, you and I, and a nice rhythm has been established. I've gotten used to the waking up, juggling between you and your korkor. Too bad I'm returning to work next week. I'm sure that will change things somewhat.

We've gotten to know you better after these few months.

You generally sleep well at night.. going to bed between 10pm - 11pm and waking up around 4 / 5 am for a feed, and another time at 7 / 9 am (daytime sleep is another matter altogether), waking for good only at 11am. Although I'd prefer that you wake up at 7am everyday so I can feed you before going to work next time, I'm just grateful that you usually go right back to sleep after the night feeds, allowing me to do the same. You hardly poop at night now, saving me from having to do diaper changes and waking you up in the process. We believe that your good sleep is thanks to the swaddle i bought. What a great investment that has been!


Snug in the swaddle

(I can still remember the nightmarish first months of your korkor's life.. when he would cry and cry from 11pm - 5am, leaving me and our then-helper exhausted from all the rocking / soothing.)  

You hardly sleep in the daytime though.. and even if we manage to get you to snooze, you hardly sleep for more than 30 mins at a go. I'm still waiting for the stage where we can progress to 3 distinct naps, but right now, you generally fall asleep after Ida slings you, after which we will carefully put in your yao lan. 

You hardly cry for milk too.. you'd wait patiently, cooing in Ida's arms (i think you recognise that it's not mama carrying you so no point trying to seek milk), or give little mews signifying hunger, latching on hungrily when i eventually offer some nourishment. :) You are generally a happy and content baby, mewing only when you've been ignored and left in your rocker for too long or when you are really hungry. I know that sleep trumps feeding for you though. This is evident from the many times I've tried to make you drink more to relieve me from engorgement, only to be met with your stubbornly pursed lips. You'd even scowl and let out a mini-wail to indicate your displeasure if i try too ardently, upon which I know to give it up (you'd close your eyes, give a deep sigh and go back to being the sweet angel once i give up and start swaying while carrying you). I only hope that this does not mean you'll be a difficult eater!

So much on your sleep and feeding habits! But your life is currently made up largely of these. Other than that, we've learnt that you can spend long periods entertaining yourself, before giving a mini-howl for your slaves to get their act together and pay you some attention.

Staring intently at one of your favorite things

We've also learnt that, unlike your brother, you are not so much of a wimp and would not protest upon being put into the bath water or when being changed. You've also developed stronger neck muscles, discovered your hands, gumming your right hand with relish, and started blowing saliva bubbles (eww). I've also learnt that you are not very athletic..you tolerate at most 4 minutes of tummy time and a few clunks onto the mattress before protesting furiously until we turn you over.

Tired of tummy time

Your brother has learnt to share his parents with you, and is truly fond of you. He'll make allowances for you in his plans to distribute any imaginary loaves of bread he has, in addition to slices for him, daddy and me. He'll also include you in plans such as going to Nai nai's house (though it took him some time to come to terms with not being the exclusive patron of Nai nai's house). We are sure that you two will learn to love and play with each in future (and then mama and daddy can scoot off on dates! =P)

The smiles that you give us when we look into your eyes and talk to you are such beautiful gifts from Him. It is truly one of my current greatest pleasures in life to see you grin so widely your eyes disappear, and give a little wiggle of delight whenever I initiate contact with you. You love to 'talk' too, especially to mama and gonggong..seeing the myriad expressions which accompany your talk, we are sure you'll be as much of a chatterbox as your brother currently is, in future.

Talking with Daddy

Things have not been too difficult thus far and I'm grateful. I thank God for giving me such a sweet little girl, and for giving me you after your brother, and not before. That he was such a handful makes us more appreciative of your easy-going nature. Grow well (but not too quickly), little girl. We love you lots and cherish these early days when you still want to be carried and cuddled.

Love,
mama