Conversations with a 2.5 yr old

Talking with my 2.5 yr old often amuses me.

Just tonight, in the short 30 minute pre-sleep bedtime routine, my son provided me with so much fodder for the blog that this pregnant woman was unable to remember all the funny things he said.

1) C, my punnyman
Me: Christian, do you know who loves you?
Christian: Mama!
Me: And...?
C: And.. er... And-rew!
Me: Huh? Who's Andrew?
C: Aaaaand-drew... (*du-uh, why does mama not get the pun?) Andrew is my friend in school!

2) C, my funnyman
I place my spectacles on the edge of my bed and lie down next to his toddler cot-bed.
The busybody says "Mama, i hold your spectacles for you. See, see, I help you. Cannot put here, wait fall down."
Me: Oh, thank you.
C: Mama, I bought the spectacles for you. You must wear your spectacles ok? I scold you, then you must wear your spectacles.
Me: Why are you scolding me?
C: Cos you not wearing your spectacles! ... ... See! Mama, I wear your spectacles, ok??
Me: No no.. this is not a pair of sunglasses. You cannot wear it.
C: Oh, where is the sunglasses?
Me: In the shop, we did not buy it.
C: I buy the sunglasses!
Me: Ok, but you need money. Where's your money?
C: My money.. my money is in gongong's wallet.
Me: *laughs inwardly*

3) Expressing his unwillingness to sleep
C: Mosquito bite me; mosquito bite Christian.
Me: Oh, really? Okay..mosquito says it's time for bed.
C: NoOoO, mosquito say time for wake up.
*repeat lines 2 and 3 above*

4) Imitation
C: Ma-Ma?
Me: Chris-tian?
C: maAmaA?
Me: chrIStiAN?
C (In the exact tone i use when i try to comfort him during the times he's ill): Mama, I'm heere. Don't be fine.
(He got the "You'll be fine" jumbled up..)

5) C giving me a peek into his world, where everything is magical and possible.
C: Mama and Christian go inside the aircon.
Me: Huh? We go inside?
C: Yes, then we cannot come out.
Me: Oh... we are stuck?
C: Yes. We need to look for a door. Then we can come out.
Me (still trying my darndest to put him to bed): Close your eyes, then you can see the door.
C (Clenches his eyes tight, strains his neck and shouts): MAMA! I see the door already! We can come out! Then we go out the window and we fly down!
Me: Christiaaan...it's time for bed.