Daddy’s girl

2 nights ago, I was messaging P and he got inspired to sms his sister as a result of what I told him. He gave me permission to reproduce the sms-es cos he thinks it would be useful for our children to understand our philosophy as parents, in future.

Here’s what he said to his sis:

“Calista had a high fever and vomited today. She was mostly silent, but when E (i.e. me) tried to sayang her and told her she loved her, her reply was “Where is Daddy?”

Having a boy and a girl has made me realise that boys instinctively look to mothers for comfort, and it is the other way round for girls.

I feel really sorry for dad, he did not know how to cherish his daughter. He wasted the special gift that God gave him…the opportunity to develop that special relationship, that unbreakable bond with another person. I also felt sad for you, you missed out on the special love between daddy and daughter Unfortunately for dad, he shows no signs of having learned to love, as evidenced by his lack of interest in his own grandchildren.

My greatest fear for him is the regret that he will feel on his last day.my greatest wish for him is that he can one day reconcile with you, and cure your hurt. Sad to say, this has to come from him, and I do not see it happening.

As a dad i’ve come to realise that children are extremely sensitive to the tenderness of their parents. They really appreciate it when we do for them what the maid usually does. Doing the mundane things in a tender manner, like wiping their backside after they poo and sponge bathing them, makes them feel special and loved. During the weekends, I try to bathe and clean the kids myself as much as possible

It is such a joy to see the delight on their faces when we do simple things for them that seem magical to them, like frying an egg for Christian the foodie.

I thought I should share this with you, so that when your long working hours tire you out and you feel sapped of energy at home, and cannot keep up with the kids’ energy and demands, you can find strength in your love for them, and theirs for you.

I find that aside from this, what really drives me on no matter how tired I am is the memory of my own childhood. For I am determined not to repeat the mistakes of our parents in not projecting their love in a visible way. Although I cannot be there for them most of the time, I hope they can feel that my love is with them. After all, we will be gone one day and all they will have that’s left of us is the love that still resides within them.

And that is the force that will keep them going, through the good and the bad times.”

He shared it with me and I though it was so touching and eloquent.

A night later, I told Calista “I love you…and God loves you too.” Her immediate reply without prompting was -

“I love Daddy.” =7