Daddy’s girl

2 nights ago, I was messaging P and he got inspired to sms his sister as a result of what I told him. He gave me permission to reproduce the sms-es cos he thinks it would be useful for our children to understand our philosophy as parents, in future.

Here’s what he said to his sis:

“Calista had a high fever and vomited today. She was mostly silent, but when E (i.e. me) tried to sayang her and told her she loved her, her reply was “Where is Daddy?”

Having a boy and a girl has made me realise that boys instinctively look to mothers for comfort, and it is the other way round for girls.

I feel really sorry for dad, he did not know how to cherish his daughter. He wasted the special gift that God gave him…the opportunity to develop that special relationship, that unbreakable bond with another person. I also felt sad for you, you missed out on the special love between daddy and daughter Unfortunately for dad, he shows no signs of having learned to love, as evidenced by his lack of interest in his own grandchildren.

My greatest fear for him is the regret that he will feel on his last day.my greatest wish for him is that he can one day reconcile with you, and cure your hurt. Sad to say, this has to come from him, and I do not see it happening.

As a dad i’ve come to realise that children are extremely sensitive to the tenderness of their parents. They really appreciate it when we do for them what the maid usually does. Doing the mundane things in a tender manner, like wiping their backside after they poo and sponge bathing them, makes them feel special and loved. During the weekends, I try to bathe and clean the kids myself as much as possible

It is such a joy to see the delight on their faces when we do simple things for them that seem magical to them, like frying an egg for Christian the foodie.

I thought I should share this with you, so that when your long working hours tire you out and you feel sapped of energy at home, and cannot keep up with the kids’ energy and demands, you can find strength in your love for them, and theirs for you.

I find that aside from this, what really drives me on no matter how tired I am is the memory of my own childhood. For I am determined not to repeat the mistakes of our parents in not projecting their love in a visible way. Although I cannot be there for them most of the time, I hope they can feel that my love is with them. After all, we will be gone one day and all they will have that’s left of us is the love that still resides within them.

And that is the force that will keep them going, through the good and the bad times.”

He shared it with me and I though it was so touching and eloquent.

A night later, I told Calista “I love you…and God loves you too.” Her immediate reply without prompting was -

“I love Daddy.” =7

At MBS

We skipped swim class last Saturday cos Christian was ill. We were at a loss as to where to go, and eventually decided to go to Marina Bay Sands since there was a festival going on that weekend and there would be face painting, balloon sculpting etc.

The children were delighted with the boardwalk at the promenade, and were fascinated with the Oculus. Christian stared at the whirlpool, and we ran to the basement to follow the flow of the water.

We decided to have breakfast at Coffee Bean’s beanstro, where we could watch the waterfall for awhile.

Next, we headed to my office to test out the gym ball I’ve bought together with my colleagues. At one point in time, others could see from the ground floor, my colleagues and I sitting on 3 red balls, all in a row.

After testing out the gym ball to see whether it suited P, we headed over to the museum.

I had read on some mummy’s blog that the Eames Essential exhibition was interesting and had more interactive displays for children. We paid for the kids and I (the proceeds were going to charity that weekend) and explored the life of the makers of the Herman Miller chairs.

This exhibition was definitely not as accessible to children as the Art Garden. Some of what was on display was also beyond me! A lot of it focused on the wonders of mathematics and physics, both of which were definitely one of my weaker subjects back in school. We spent a lot of time at an exhibit which was modeled to look like an outdoor garden.

 Christian had fun playing with the blocks there, and Calista had a good time running around, feeling the “grass”.

There was this machine which simulated the orbit of the planets and the effect of gravity on the speed of orbit. That was a favourite with Christian. We also spent some time at the “House of Cards” exhibit and tried to construct something with the cards available.

The last stop was the activity centre, where we were encouraged to help ourselves to a buffet of material, and construct something out of scrap material. That was fun, and I wish we had more time, but everybody was getting hungry so we did something really simple and headed off for lunch.

We settled on Kraze burgers for lunch. Although it was pretty crowded, we didn’t have queue for a table, unlike Din Tai Fung. It was also near the skating rink so the children were entertained by people watching. We were also pleasantly surprised when a balloon sculpturist approached us and asked if the children would like to have something. Apparently he was hired by the restaurant to offer the service free to guests :) Christian asked for a gun and Calista got a flower..the two of them were most pleased with it and carried it themselves all the way home.

And that, is the end of that very long story of how we spent last Saturday morning.

Christian the soapmaker

I read on some mummy’s blog a year back, about her son’s experience with making soap as a gift for his teachers. I thought it was a great idea and filed it away under the long list of  “Mummy To-dos”.

It was one of the rare to-dos that I remembered to follow up on, so long after. Signing up with Soap Ministry was easy, I just gave a call and made an appointment; no deposits or internet transfers necessary. Great for the busy working mum.

We went today, for the 1145 class and were fortunate to have the sole attention of Dayana, who runs the shop with her mum.

It was such a pleasure to watch the expressions on Christian’s face as he was asked to pick the soap base (milky or clear), essential oil (sweet orange, lavender or lemongrass), colouring (purple or orange or blue). The expressions ranged mostly from joy to pride to focus.

First, he used a metal cutter to slice the soap base into strips,

transferred the strips to a measuring jug which then went into a metal pot simmering over another base of hot water.

 

While the base was melting slowly, Christian was given the opportunity to measure the vegetable glycerin (8g),

  add in vitamin E (1g) and stir in the colouring (red and yellow = orange).

He was then asked to select the scents, and taught to use the dropper to transfer the oil into the measuring jug.

He eventually warmed up to Dayana and ran around looking at the different soap samples on display, before running to the metal pots asking “Are they ready yet?!”

She laughed and was really friendly, teasing him and giving him the space and freedom to try things out himself.

We picked out some moulds which we thought his teacher might like. Roses, hearts with flowers, more roses. Dayana asked him to pick a few moulds for himself too, just in case we have enough soap base left over for ourselves and he predictably picked the car mould =7 After spraying some ethanol on the moulds,

he mixed the soap base with the vit E etc

 

and poured the mixture into the moulds. There were enough for his 7 teachers (2 english, 2 mandarin, 1 assistant, 2 berries teachers) and there was leftover to make his lollipop, car and heart shape.                 

The moulds were placed in the freezer for about 10 minutes and he got to pop the soap out of the moulds.

Ta-daaaa! The finished products.

 

The Power of Ideas

Dear Christian

Something has happened recently andI felt this burning urge to tell you. I am afraid you are still a little too young to understand, and am thus addressing this to the 11 year old you I imagine reading this in future.

You see, your Daddy and I have lots of worries and concerns about your sister and you. How you two grow and develop, whether you will be given the opportunity to fulfill your God-given potential, whether we are doing the right thing for you in terms of schooling, family arrangement etc etc. We wonder if certain choices we make would have helped all of us lead a happier life, and occasionally we have ideas on how the system should be changed in order to reduce stress and unhappiness on poor children like you.

Your Daddy and I are particularly concerned about education, and he has written in to the newspapers to air his thoughts on what should be changed in the system to reduce elitism, and unnecessary stress on young uns. Getting into a good primary school has been one of the matters on our priority list, and is something we often had debates about. In fact, we sold our very first family home because there were no good schools within 1 km of our house. (There was a neighbourhood school, but it was definitely one of the poorer schools around; we often saw kids hanging around the playground, smoking cigarettes while still in their uniform.)

Worrying about the effects of streaming and PSLE on the young fragile ego, on heavy workload and stress of doing well in an exam that determines your life, your father decided to try and effect change in the only way that was open to him. By writing to the papers. And so he spent a few hours working on each submission to the papers, crafting and perfecting his language to be succinct and convincing, refining his ideas to be practical and easily implemented.

One of his ideas – to do away with excessive granulation of differentiating between pupils, by putting them in bands instead – caught fire. He wrote in to Today, some people responded to say they agreed, he was asked to air his thoughts on a TV interview, and just last Sunday, the Prime Minister announced that they were going to do away with the T-score as it creates unnecessary stress, and that they were going to grade students based on bands of A, B, C, D instead. I was rather surprised when I read that, as it echoed all that your father had initially said.

Too bad there is no authorship rights, and neither will there be any monetary remuneration for a good idea. Nonetheless, just think of the many lives that might possibly be changed thanks to the change in system. Think of the generations of children who will no longer be chasing to have a PSLE score of 271 instead of 270, just so they can go into their dream school.

So, son, please believe that we can effect change. And if we can make a change in the world, it is certainly possible to overcome whatever hurdle you think is currently in your life, to change ourselves, and our lives. 

Vivocity

Vivocity is our favourite shopping mall in Singapore. We used to visit almost every weekend cos we lived in the vicinity; we have so many happy memories of going to Sentosa from Vivo, letting the kids play and run around there, buying our birthday cakes from the Cedele there, visiting Daiso and Marche, and chilling out at the rooftop water play area.

I brought my parents there last weekend to try out the recently-opened Jamie’s Italian opened by Jamie Oliver. My dad is a closet fan of Jamie Oliver after watching his cook shows. I remember him saying that all that he cooks looks very delicious, although simple. Christian was so happy to be back there after such a long while. They had fun at Toys R Us (where I used up my voucher on a lego board, bubbles and magnetic alphabets), and where the grandparents bought him a Transformer as his advance birthday present. Gosh. Transformers. I remember playing with my brother’s Transfomers. Never thought I’d have a son who would be playing with the same toy..

 

We went to the outdoor playground at level 2 while my parents and helper started queuing at Jamie’s Italian. There are some new toys out there, like this jiggly caterpillar we’d never seen before -

They stared at the water jets for a bit, I bought Calista a pair of soft shoes she could put on and take off herself, and very soon, it was time for lunch!

JI’s was a visual treat for the kids. We were seated near the pasta machine and they saw how the pasta came flowing out and how the staff coiled them up,

there was a viewfinder which contained the kid’s menu,

and they even offered crayons and a drawing sheet!

Definitely kid friendly. We had some interesting food like polenta chips,

truffle risotto, fish in a bag, baked mushrooms, tagliatelle, fried squid, and Christian had the chicken lollipop (chicken on skewers) which was on the kid’s menu. His meal came with a salad in a jar which said “shake me”,

and they gave him a badge which said “I finished all my greens at Jamie’s!” =7 Good try at enticing kids to eat their greens!

We were too stuffed for desserts, which was a pity since I read that the best items on their menu are in fact the chocolate cake and tiramisu. Oh well, another time.

Lullaby for Calista

I made up a silly ditty for Calista a few weeks ago, and she liked it so much she remembered the song and requested for it on a separate night. I had no idea what she was referring to when she said “sing…cat…” until she hummed the tune and went “kitty cat….”

This is what I made up for her – a simple tune designed to bore, calm and lull.

She will purr and pretend to be a cat as I sing this, sometimes singing it herself. It amazes me that she remembered the exact words of the song I made up and forgot.

Christian overheard this a few nights later, and came up with his version which tickled his sister.

“Kitty cat, time to eat, time to eat, eat corn corn, i feed you..”

His version is so typical of the little foodie.

Nowadays she modifies the song as she pleases too, going

“Kitty cat, time to eat, eat your corn, eat your noodle..eat..what else?”

 

Calista’s cuteness

Calista is cute in an infinite number of ways and it is close to impossible to make a comprehensive list to illustrate her cuteness at this stage.

Nonetheless, I feel an impulse to record what I can, if only to look back later and laugh at these sweet days (this might be of greatest comfort when she turns into a grief-inducing teenager).

1) So..I’ve recently taken to pulling her nose. My mum used to do the same to me, saying my nose was too flat and needed some lifting. I know pinching doesn’t help, but still I do it lightly, out of affection,

She refused to let me pull/pinch the first time i tried, until i told her “Let mama help you…such a flat nose..you want to be pretty?” She immediately paused in mid-air, gave a look of stoicism and let me do as I pleased. Two pinches of her nose later, she pulled away and pronounced herself “peety already, peety.ta-daaaa!” I couldn’t help but burst out laughing.

She made me laugh again last night, when I lay close to her, and we were face to face. She proceeded to pinch my nose, saying in her still-babyish voice “Come mama, come I help you..” and all business-like after 5 secs of tugging at my nose bridge and making her way down to my nostrils “Now mama peety!!”

2) She lURVEs noodles (beehoon, soba, ramen, spaghetti) and has taken to calling them “woondle”. “I eat woondle!” was the first thing she said to me when I got home from work today. She had her beloved noodles for dinner.

3) Today I was horsing around with her before putting her to bed. I pretended to want to chomp down on her tummy after she made up a story of how she ate a bird and it’s now in her stomach. She squealed in protest, then offered her toes instead. I asked to chew on her buttocks instead and she cleverly pointed that she is now sitting down so I can’t reach it. I tricked her into lying down before making a big show of chomping. She matter-of-factly said “Come. Now spit out the bones. Spit. Ok? I throw away.” *pretends to throw something onto her bolster* “See i throw into dustbin already. Don’t touch ok, wet wet..”

?!!?

4) Whenever I snap at her and tell her brusquely to go to sleep, she will pull my hand, kiss my palm and say “I love you,mama…” until I respond to her tenderly. –_- Girls are such emotional manipulators..

Art Garden 2013

I was racking my brains to think of where to bring the children over the looong weekend (where the hari raya and national day public holidays ran consecutively). My mum suggested the Bird Park, but I didn’t think it was worth the effort and money bringing Calista there at such a young age since she is unlikely to remember anything and since I can get free corporate tickets to the Zoo/Night or River Safari/Bird Park, next quarter.

I was reading some mummy’s blog for ideas when I noticed that the Art Garden exhibition at the Singapore Art Museum was still running, till 1 Sep. Off we went!

It was a great idea cos I brought the grandparents and maid along and not a single one of us had to pay admission :) I think it was probably my dad’s 2nd or 3rd time in a museum, but he seemed to enjoy it.

There were a few exhibits which reminded me of our visit in 2012, but I didn’t quite mind cos we enjoyed those.. such as the “The Incredibly Expanding Room”, where we had to shout into a microphone to effect change in the visuals on the wall.. and the “Moving Image Gallery”, where there was lots of short 4 minute films for children.

The children ran around in the “Enchanted Garden City”, where fairytales were given an Asian twist (think the Little Red Nonya with the Big Bad Wolf)

Christian doodled something within a “magic mirror” which was pre-printed on a piece of paper, and his doodle was projected onto this huge wall. He was so excited to see the fruit of his labour (as well as his name) up on the wall. It must have been magical for him.

 

The next room we went to, was called “Around the World in Eighty Days”. I wasn’t quite sure how the activities in the room were tied to the theme, although there was a hot air balloon postcard for Christian to colour..he dedicated that to Daddy.. :)

We had fun sitting on silly chairs, trying to throw hoops onto the targets, and even my parents and helper got in the act by searching for the 6 spiders hidden all over the kaleidoscopic wallpaper.

The exhibit that really awed me was the “Stellar Cave II” which was inspired by the prehistoric paintings in France's Lascaux Caves. Made entirely of thread and screws, it inspired wonder and we were all silent after the initial “Waaaah”.

 

The last was a rather spooky room full of ghoul-like forms. The only fun factor was the bed which was designed for visitors to sit on. It was attached to a wall that could be swivelled, transporting the visitors to another room. Christian was so thrilled he wanted to go on it again, but it was getting close to Calista’s nap time and I could tell the adults were getting restless so I distracted him.  

I had thought about how I could spend more time with Christian, given Calista’s need for nap at about 1.30pm everyday. It struck me while I was lying on the facial salon bed the other day that I should just get my father to go along (an excuse to drag him out of the house) and my parents and helper could head home after lunch while I went back to the museum with Christian for some mother-son time. So that was what we did. Lunch was at Yet Con at Seah Street..which made my dad happy cos it’s been a while since he ate there. We had helpings after helpings of rice thanks to the delicious chicken and pork chops..

Christian and I went back to SAM for more of the short films which we didn’t manage to catch earlier, and I finally managed to convince him to go for face-painting, which was a special National Day activity for the day. I was so glad he finally said yes, after I told him I’d do it too. I remember the last time we tried to persuade him to get his face painted like a tiger (in Perth, April 2011), he cried..! =7 He was very pleased with the blue car on his arm and red/white merlion on his face after the artist was done.

The last activity we did at the museum was a National Day hat.. using stencils, we traced the outlines onto our cardboard and coloured it. He was in charge of colouring whilst I was in charge of cutting and making the “springs”. The volunteer laughed as he saw Christian taking a photo of me and the front and back of my hat :)

We were tired by the end of all that..and walked to City Hall station to take the train home. That silly boy was so delighted when he heard we were going to take a train and bus home, it being such a novelty to him. We looked at the station names, I made him guess where we were going to alight, and we were fortunate to get the very front seat at the top of the double decker bus. I pretended to nap and asked him to look out for our stop :) He was so proud and happy to be given the task of getting us home.

It was such a great day and I think everybody was happy..I guess one doesn’t have to travel overseas to create happy memories..there are still lots for us to do in Singapore!

Last weekend

Christian’s swim class was postponed last Saturday so we spent the morning at the Botanic Gardens at P’s request. I think he suggested it because he missed out on so much of the previous picnic. 

The kids were happily chanting ‘picnic picnic’ as we left the house, and i’m glad to say that I enjoyed myself immensely this time.

We played catch with a tennis ball and a velcro catcher that Christian received from his school last year as a Children’s Day gift. We had so much fun a tourist couple came up to us and asked where we bought it. We also kicked ball and I laughed and laughed at the bad aims. Er. That is, P and I did the above. Christian did try but was more interested in running around and eating. =7

 

We blew bubbles, went hurtling down the hill again, looked at dragonflies at the pond, and finished off by helping Christian put his skates on and letting him skate about on the paved roads, ogling at the many dogs at the same time.

Everybody was tired and hungry by the time we left the Gardens at around noon. We drove to Somerset 313 to have lunch at Ootoya, where we had the most delicious charcoal-grilled chicken. It was a coincidence that we wandered in, cos it turns out that it was one of the Japanese restaurants i’d been meaning to try for sometime (but forgot)..

Christian reads his 1st chapter book

Recently, i thought that Christian might be ready for chapter books, based on the progress which I’d noticed in his reading. He surprises me with the words he can read sometimes, and I am so glad that all our efforts to instill a love for reading is finally paying off. I can’t help but beam when he automatically picks out books to read after dinner, or when he says “mama you loved to read when you were small right? That’s why I love to read too..”

In any case I recently borrowed two “chapter books” from the library to test the waters..”Chapter books” have few pictures and, as the name suggests, a few chapters within them.

Christian’s first reaction when he saw them was “why are there no pictures in there?”

I explained that since he could read now, it’s time to learn how to form the pictures in his brain now. And so we started on “The Puffin Book of Stories for 5 Year-Olds”.

I sat by his side as he read aloud, pausing occasionally only to answer my questions and to slow him down so he could focus on what was being conveyed. He did not need my help to decipher the words in that first story of the book, and grinned ear to ear when I asked him to close his eyes to check if he had the picture of the story in his mind. Success!

This other book is the first chapter book he read, and I am glad he really enjoyed it and laughed as he read.

Hopefully the joy of reading will continue to follow him as he grows older and as more distractions come his way.