Questions questions questions

1) I never knew it started at 2.5 yrs. Based on my limited experience with children (mostly with my many cousins), i thought the 'asking-for-the-sake-of-asking' stage only started at age 4 or 5..but here it has descended upon us (or perhaps, 'me', since I bear the brunt of it).

Case in point -

Christian: Why is the road shiny, mama?

Me: Becos it rained.

C: Oh! it rained..why did it rain, mama?

Me: Because.... the dark rain clouds came.

C: It rained.. and the roads are slippery now! Why is it slippery?

Me: Because the rain fell and the roads became wet.

C: Why are the roads wet, mama?

Me: Erm..because they are not covered.

C: Why did they not cover the roads?

Me: ?!? Because it's too large to be covered.. and because we want to see the sunshine sometimes. It won't rain all the time, you know.

C: Why do we want to see the sunshine? 

Me: *struggles for an answer and changes topic*

Case in point 2

C: Why are the tree trunks on the floor? 

Me: Because they were cut off the tree. 

C: Who cut the tree? 

Me: The woodcutter.

C: Where is the woodcutter now? 

Me: He's at home, resting. He's not working today.

C: Why is he not working?

Me: Because it is Saturday, and he wants to play with his children. 

C: Why does he want to play with his children? 

Me: I don't know.. why don't you tell me? 

C: Mama.. why? 

Me: Why what? 

C: Why you say "why"?

Me: Because you asked me a question.

C: Why did Christian ask you a question? 

Me: *tries to find virtual wall to bang my head against*

2) On a less comical but sweeter note, we realised that he's a rather polite boy (tho his daddy would caveat that C's politeness appears limited to me). His demands are sensitively couched in the form of questions. 

Case in point 1

[I lie down in bed next to him, trying to put him to bed. C notices i'm not wearing pjs, unlike him.]

C: Mama, you want to wear this?  You want to change? 

Case in point 2

[I laze in bed after he wakes me up.. but he wants me to go play with him.]

C: Mama, can I come in? you want to wake up? ? Can I open the curtains for you? 

Case in point 3

He sees a small tetra pak of berry smoothie that he's had before. Couldn't resist grabbing it, but looks at me with big eyes and asks: "Mama, is this mine? Can I have it?"

^_^

Hello! I am here! (Multiplied by 30)

P counted at least 30 times today that Christian said those words at the playground.

Our son was literally darting around like a fly, informing the participants at the playground of his presence. We could not help but marvel at his drive to connect with his peers.. who were largely ignoring him and his shouting.

Hang in there child! Your mei mei is on the way. Finally, there will be a "peer" under the same roof who we hope will be a soulmate for you.

Oftentimes, we adults are too caught up in the task train and the drudgeries of daily living to pay close attention to the higher order needs of our children. Like us, they have voids in their hearts, minds and souls to fill. It hurt to see Christian so desperately lonely even as he was surrounded by children at the playground. It served as a timely reminder that we alone are not enough for him.

a post on the Singapore education system

This is an eloquent post on the Singapore education system from one of my favourite bloggers, Petunia. All Singaporean parents should read this and consider signing the petition! (Doesn't it say a lot about our system when parents of 2.5 yr olds worry about their kids going to primary school?)

Reproduced with permission http://petunialee.blogspot.com/2011/05/we-do-not-have-equal-opportunity.html-

PTC

We went to Christian's school last Saturday for our 2nd parent-teacher conference.
Yes, even toddlers and children in nursery have PTCs these days. =7

The teachers didn't say much that we didn't already know, such as

- His mandarin has improved leaps and bounds; he understands a lot more mandarin and can even ask simple questions in mandarin now (compared to when he first entered school in July last year, when he barely understood mandarin).

- Song Lao Shi said he can be go quite 'wild' when he plays with his friends, and tends to bump around and hurt himself. Nonetheless, he is rather obedient and can be persuaded to do the right thing. (Thank goodness he's not so stubborn!)

- Ms Huimin mentioned that he's one of the most verbal in class. He loves storytime, and will often create his own stories, and songs based on familiar tunes. He's also the ringleader in class. When he disrupts her in the middle of some activity by singing and dancing around, his classmates will follow suit. She regains control of class when she directs him to pay attention, cos the rest will quieten down too. =7 Unlike other children who have 'best friends' in class, he gets along well with everybody.

We were glad to see genuine interest and concern in the teachers. Their eyes lit up when talking about Christian, which is a great comfort to us. For this reason, we hesitate to switch schools for him, although we think this school may not be the most academically-rigorous preschool for him. Sigh. We'll have to think about this a little more.

The gentleman

I was ill about two weeks back and ended up vomiting much of my lunch.

Christian was so sweet. He raced to the bathroom with me as I puked into the toilet bowl, and resisted Ida's attempts to ask him out of the toilet. Insisted on hugging me from the back and peered into my face asking "What happened, mama?" with great concern. He didn't even think about the stink!

When I went back to the living room, slumped on the couch, he asked "You not feeling well, mama? You want to sleep??" (while cocking his head sideways and placing both palms under a cheek.)

That made me smile even though I was physically feeling awful.
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We went to Kim's family restaurant 2 days after that day I was ill. The bibimbap wasn't great.. but we hopped over to Udders after dinner and Christian was so happy. He was tempted to eat, but kept looking at me for permission.

I kept warning him sternly that he could only have a little bit, else he might develop a cough. He nodded happily and took tiny slivers of ice cream at the edge of the small spoon for himself. I was taken aback when he took another morsel and asked "Mama, you want this? Mama, you want some ice cream?", then "Mama, you want some water?"

I was half-ashamed at how sweetly he asked me, and how concerned he was for me, after how stern I was with him. He was like a big adult, taking care of another.. Peter said he felt like a light bulb, interrupting our mother-son date. =P
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Tonight - C was happy when I allowed him to fall asleep in our bed. He settled next to me, then realised I wasn't hugging a bolster.

"Mama? You want a bolster? I share mine with you, come."

Kept insisting on getting a bolster for me even after I said I was fine.

Sigh. P says the way he treats me will be the way our son treats his future girlfriends..but i think most children are just born so sweet and innocent. No wonder Jesus said the kingdom of heaven belongs to those who are childlike.

Holiday!

There've been a few posts which remain at the back of my head, half-crafted. I've been too lazy to blog, preferring to spend my 1+ hr of free time every night vegetating instead.

Anyway, here are some photos of how we spent the Vesak Day public holiday today.

We left Christian with the MIL, to go sing KTV.

C asked "What are you going, mama?" (He gets "what" and "where" mixed up.) I explained that we were going to eat lunch and sing songs, that he shd hv his lunch and nap and I'll be back after that. He nodded and walked back to the toys. We tried to sneak away but he ran to the gate, stooped to see our faces beneath the metal portion and shouted "Daddy Mama BYE BYE!!"

P felt sooo guilty for so long after, that he drove uncharacteristically (i.e. slow). I had to distract him with other conversational topics, and remind him that this would probably be our last KTV session in a long while. It'll be even harder for us to tear ourselves away from the kiddos once the other is born. =7
(p/s it was our first time at *scape. We had to queue half an hr to get into that kbox outlet, but the rooms are cool!!)

It's been a looong weekend for Christian, whose school was also closed yesterday (Mon) for cleaning. Shall cross fingers he doesn't kick up a fuss tomorrow morning when it's time for school!

At *scape Kbox

I'm the cashier!

Whee!

You're not a cat, Daddy

P and Christian go for a walk in the evening, to give me some peace from the chatter-box.

They come across a cat.

P: "Meow, meow, meow.. meow" (at the cat).

C (matter-of-factly): "You are not a cat, daddy."

P (bemused and surprised): "Oh? Then what am I?"

C: "You are a Daddy!"

Christian's 1st dream

(Well, technically not his 1st, cos I know babies have little baby dreams since their very first days on earth, but it's the first that he's recounted to us..)

Upon springing up from bed this morning...

C: DADDY! You were cuttingbreadjustnow and Icouldn'tfindyou!
P (still sleepy): Huh? You couldn't find me?
C: Yes! You were cuttingbread and I couldn't find you...
P: Oh, I was cutting bread just now? You couldn't find me?
C: Yes.
P: Christian had a dream...!
C: YEs.

Rules...

I've been telling Christian that only babies cry, and he's a big boy now who's soon going to be a big brother.

He had a tiny cut on his index finger yesterday, and said it was caused by the school gate. Showed me his finger when he got home and whimpered "Mama.. mama.. my finger.. painpain."

I made a few sympathetic noises and said it's ok, it'll heal after a night's sleep. He replied "I did not cry, Mama. I didn't cry. I only said 'Mama..mama..my finger...' (in the exact tone and manner in which he complained to me.)"

He's capable of re-enactment now.

We've also been trying to correct his pronunciation where we can, but sometimes i think he stubbornly refuses to be corrected, even though he is capable of pronouncing it correctly. I was massaging his leg as he drank his milk, and he squirmed, saying "tickle-ish". I said "ticklish, ticklish, not tickle-ish" but he insisted "tickle-ish", before coming up with his own rule - "only children can say tickle-ish". I laughed and went "oh?" so he decided to come up with another rule - "only girls can say ticklish. Mama say ticklish." (see he has no problems saying it correctly!!!)

Flowers from my boys

 

Christian was so shy when he gave the flowers to me...he even forgot the rehearsed words, and shook his head bashfully when P prompted him. Eventually managed a 'happy mama's birthday' :) I think he'll be such a hit with girls next time, if the girls of the future generation still find cute-but-shy guys attractive.

We went to the Botanic Gardens today for the SSO Mother's Day concert, together with the paternal grandparents. C amazed us with his elephant memory.

He asked P "Where are the soldiers?" (We had watched a SAF Band perform at the same spot about 1.5 months ago) and "Where is the orange?" (Our orange had rolled down the grassy slope into the pond right in front of the symphony stage that very same visit).

C's also begun using more adult phrases, which tickle us to no end. He saw the crescent moon and remembered the Eric Carle book "Papa, get the moon for me". Started imagining P and himself as the characters in the book, and talked about the waxing and waning of the moon, but I have no idea why he  veered off-topic and said "i want to cut daddy into half". I asked "Why..? Don't you love Daddy?"

He thought about it for a few seconds, said "Umm... I think so... but.. etc etc".

Gosh. My son is growing up. (Although he insists "I'm still a baby. I can cry.")

Creativity

Being a mother has allowed me to discover reserves of patience and creativity that I never knew existed.

I was tired from work and being pregnant tonight, and my son insisted on sitting next to me while i ate. "Eat your dinner, mama", he admonished like a class monitor. "Mama read to me, mama read to me, mama read to me...." x30 (ok, i exaggerate. maybe multiply that by 20 times). I was patient with him cos I understand his need for attention, especially since he only has slightly more than 1 hr with me between my return from work and his bedtime at 8-ish.

I read one of his favourite picture books "Help the cat" to him in between mouthfuls of dinner, and read that same book twice more while he was on the nebuliser (reading is one of the very few methods which work in keeping him still while he holds the nebuliser to his mouth).

He was his usual self before bed tonight and refused to open his mouth wide for me to use the finger tooth brush to brush his teeth.

I was really tired, but struck upon the idea of asking whether he wanted his forehead stamped with a kiss.

He perked up, cos he got a Thomas the train stamp on his hand at the doc's the day before, and was so pleased he literally hopped out of the doc's office, waving his hand in front of others and declaring to all the waiting patients "I've got a stamper! I've got a stamper!"

He nodded, opened his mouth wide like a rhino and grinned when i stamped my kiss with my hand onto his forehead after brushing his teeth. Asked for two more on his hand and then proclaimed "I've got a stamp!" before starting to imagine "I've got two cats on my hand!" "I like cats."

Managed to bluff him into sleep by asking whether he's a cat (he often says he's a tiger..) and telling him cats sleep a lot.. and big cats sleep even more, so he should curl up and close his eyes like a tiger.

He fell asleep in record time. ^_^

My sunshine

Christian resisted school in the morning again.

Right from the door of the house, he insisted 'I want to go to work with Mama'. Things got so bad by the time we reached the school that he got upset when Peter opened the door and started half pleading, half wailing 'Daddy I want to close the door!'

P had to carry him out of the car even as he thrashed about. I was tearing at the gate, cos I saw his imploring gaze as he cried while P handed him over to the teacher. His desperate pleas could be heard even as he went inside the school, causing another parent to comment that we have a boy who has a very strong will. P felt like he was selling his son off. Sigh.

The centre manager said he was ok after the teacher took over, but the teacher told my parents that C was listless and would chant 'i want mama' sporadically. Sigh.

My parents fetched him from school after lunch today cos we thought he should nap at home, given that he's still coughing and probably wouldnt be able to sleep well in school. He was apparently moody for an hr after his nap, and kept calling for me upon waking, or even as he played. =/

I felt so guilty hearing all that while at work, that I looked forward to seeing my boy who would be waiting for me at the bus-stop with his gonggong.

This really made my day -
Me: Christian, were you a good boy today?
C (nodding head): Yes! I was a good boy.
Me: Reeally? I heard someone cried today. Was it you?
C: No, Christian didn't cry.                  Mama..         I was waiting for you.
Me: AWWw. *heart melts*

Then during storytime, after I'd read 3 books to him -
"Mama, can i read you a book?"
^_^

Tried to explain while putting him to bed that P and I will always love him, I will always see him at night and that he doesn't need to cry for me. Think he understood a little of that, cos he mentioned that I would pick him up from school, he will wear his shoes and we will walk to the car and go home. :) I told him that I am happy if he's happy, and will cry if he cries. He thought a little, grinned and said "I am a happy child, mama. I'm a big brother now." Of cos, his cheeky side emerged and he couldn't resist - 'I am angry... then Mama CRY (together with hand action of rubbing eyes).' BOYS.

Anw, we ended the night with the song "You are my sunshine" cos he pointed to the night light and said 'sun' and i corrected him.. he looked pleased as punch when I got to the line "You make me happy" and repeated it as a question to me, smiling when i said 'yes, you make me happy.'

Difficult days

Christian has been ill on and off since end March.

He took one week to recover from a cold that started on 23rd March, which dragged on and completely disappeared when he was in Perth.

However, he caught another cold on the 14th, within 3 days of returning to childcare after we got back from Perth. The cold got better in about a week, but the dry cough persisted and he finally developed a fever last Thursday night.

I spent Friday at home with him, and the fever does not seem to have gone away for good, as yet. He keeps coughing and throwing up his food since Friday, I think he must have lost a few kilos.

Sigh.

He started being difficult during our morning drop-offs at school since end March too. Not sure whether it's cos I reverted to working full-time from the office, thus spending less time with him. Was glad for the Perth holiday, and thought he might be better after us spending a glorious week together, but no, it has gotten much worse. He's gotten so clingy the teachers at school say he sometimes chants "i want mama i want mama" when they talk to him. We've also felt like Judas betraying Jesus, when he cries so pitifully and with such desperation in the mornings. Having to pry his fingers off my clothes as every fibre of his being strains towards me causes us to have a rather awful start to the mornings (to say the least).

It's rather amusing, yet sad, to hear him try to avoid going to school every morning. His tactics range from -

1) outright denial / refusal
"I don't want to go to school. Mama and Christian together!"
"I'm not going to school. Christian stay home with Ida and Daddy."

2) Negotiation
"I want to follow Mama. I want to go home."
When I say i have to go to work - "I follow Mama to work."

3) Formulating own theories about the existence of school
"I don't want to go school. Lao shi and children fly in the sky. No more lao shi. I want to stay home with mama."

4) Refusing all attempts to be coaxed
P: "Christian, you want to tell Chloe you are handsome today?"
C: "No. Christian is naughty today."

Sometimes I end up crying at his school after seeing how strongly he cries; feeling so guilty about not being able to fulfill his entirely reasonable request of being with his mother. He's so sweet when he witnesses my tears though. He paused, put his immediate emotions aside and stroked my cheek. Through my tears, I could see his surprise and loss as to how to comfort me. P said that exchange revealed a great love, which unfortunately results in great pain during partings. :(

This ain't a cheery post, but I suppose life is not made up of happy moments alone, and this journal would not be an accurate reflection of our life together if it only documented the joyful moments without the sorrow.

Hoping that brighter days will come soon.