Baby Humour

I was putting Calista to bed and got lost in my reverie as I waited for her to calm down and be in the mood for bed. I lay behind her and thought "this is such a precious time...to be with my little one as she slowly drifts off to sleep, when almost all is well in our world and we are happy.."

the warm fuzzy feelings prompted me to sing "you are my sunshine..my second sunshine.." in the softest, gentlest tones I could muster.

I came crashing back to reality when Calista said "Torp." She repeated herself and that was when the word broke through to my consciousness.

"StoP???! You want mama to stop?"

She chuckled at my mock offense and proceeded to show me her palm while repeating the offending word -_-

Growing understandably disgruntled as she tried to needle me for a reaction, I decided to ignore her command and tried to restart the song, but she rudely began humming her own tune and added insult to injury by saying

"torp.....Daaaaddy..Daaaaadddy?"

Children can be the most unappreciative ungrateful creatures on earth.

Christmas Parties 2012

We didn’t do much on Christmas Day this year, the thought of having to wrestle with a restless Calista and hush a loud Christian during service was rather off-putting and so we went cycling instead. =P

We are, however, beginning to form some Christmas traditions as a family.. and a large part of that is meeting up with our friends. I can’t believe a year has passed since I met with Corrine and Michelle in our old house.. so much has changed in a year, and yet it didn’t feel like a whole year ago. This year, we met in Corrine’s new house instead. The kids had so much fun running around in circles, playing with the toys in Ashley’s every-child’s-dream- room, and playing hide and seek.

P and I enjoyed having time to talk to other adults without having to worry too much about having to watch over our kids, cos an adult would always be keeping an eye on them at any one time. The best part about meeting with close friends is knowing that your child is engaged and entertained, and you can sit back and relax for a while. ^_^ Seeing the thoughtful presents that our friends gave our children also makes us realise how loved our children are. Grateful.

Christian enjoyed meeting his godparents and I think he really lapped up the attention Corrine’s husband gave him. Attention is such a rare treasure for him, something he has keenly felt the lack of, since his sister was born =/

We had another gathering with some church friends on Saturday, and wow, it’s amazing the ruckus 8 children and 1 baby (calista) can make. It was fun watching Christian go half-crazy with the other children..after a relatively sedate time of Lego, they decided that rolling someone under the bean bag and going bump was fun. Christian laughed and played so hard he was all sweaty and hoarse afterwards, but we think it is healthy for children to let loose occasionally :)

I hope Christian and Calista will remember that the Christmases they spent during their childhood were filled with laughter, joy, family and love.

Road Safety Community Park

We discovered the Road Safety Park one Saturday, when we had some time to kill before Christian’s gym class. It is right next to the old Big Splash at East Coast and I had a hazy memory of going there with my school many many years ago.

We resolved to go back there with a bicycle, and so we did this morning. It was a great place to spend a Saturday morning..Peter had bought Christian a bike from Toys R Us as we had been renting bikes at East Coast a couple of times.. It struck me on the way to the Road Safety Park that whilst adults enjoy cycling along the coastline, children find it utterly meaningless and the park would be more fun. P agreed, remarking that children need structure.

We walked round and round as Christian and Calista.. whilst it was much smaller than I remembered, it was still impossible for us to cover all the ‘road’ in 3 rounds.

I found the miniature petrol station, bus bay and car parks very amusing. It is a wonder that there is so little publicity over this attraction..P thinks it’s because it’s rather old, but i think the fact that it’s stayed there for so many years is testament to its enduring appeal.

Ponyo Calista

A few days ago, Calista cried to follow us as Peter and I left the house in the morning. I felt so upset at leaving her like this, crying at the gate…and clutched my hands to my heart. Peter suggested Vanessa bring her down for a walk, to the bus-stop, so she could be with us a bit longer.

As I carried her with her chin on my shoulder, she looked back at Peter and he remarked that she looks just like Ponyo. We watched Ponyo on the Cliff quite a few years ago, but that enthralling story still reminds in our (and Christian’s mind).

Anyway, I resolved to find a picture of Calista and put it side-by-side a picture of Ponyo on this blog, just for fun.

Do you think they look alike too?

HESS–Holiday Program Dec 2012

I previously blogged about HESS here. I did enrol Christian for 3 weeks at Hess after all, partly for my parent’s benefit (so they’d get some peace at home and only have to concentrate on Calista) and also for Christian’s benefit (I’m certain he’d have a better time learning something at the school, then monkeying around aimlessly at home.)

The teachers and school more than met my expectations..i was pleasantly surprised by the weekly report they provided and photos they took which were available for download. He took part in the English and Mandarin program which meant that his time there was rather long, from 10am – 3pm, with an hour lunch break in between.  I was initially worried about pushing his nap time back so much, but figured it’s good preparation for his change in school timing next year, which will be from 1130am to 430pm.

They had a good mix of story-telling, art, drama and writing..It wasn’t cheap and cost more than his regular school ($1011 for 3 weeks) but at about $17 per hour, it was one of the most value-for-money holiday programs around. I love that the teachers are all so warm and attentive and that they have native teachers conducting the programs. Christian looked like he had so much fun thanks to the varied activities, and seeing those pictures made me very glad that I didn’t stinge and decided to send him there after all.

Would definitely consider signing him up again next year, if his own school doesn’t have a holiday program.

Lest the readers of this blog (including my own son in future) think i’m such a slave-driver mum, let it be known that he is having 2 full weeks of monkeying-around and doing nothing at all at home.. Pushing all his ECAs (music, gym) to the weekdays so our weekends will be free. Yippee for holidays!

Getaways

We watched Jersey Boys at Marina Bay Sands Theatre the other day, courtesy of a colleague. ^_^

I was scheduled for a hair perm that day but decided to give up my $48 groupon voucher for this instead…P gamely accompanied me since we are a lover of musicals. Felt rather guilty abandoning the kids to the MIL, even though they were going to nap and wouldn’t really notice our absence for the most part.

Jersey Boys was highly entertaining and we really enjoyed the great performance put up. P was so impressed with the lead singer (who apparently wasn’t THE lead singer since the understudy takes the lead during the weekend matinees) that he asked “How did they find this guy??” Such power and pristine crisp voices.

We left the Theatre buoyant and refreshed from the experience, even as we walked briskly hand-in-hand to rush home to the kids. It was a great date, and a precious time away from the children.

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I saw that Rurouni Kenshin had finally been made into a movie and opened in Singapore last weekend. Was determined to catch it and P really indulged me. We didn’t manage to get any tickets for Saturday night, and so we went on Sunday afternoon instead. The whole guilt-trip started all over again as we left the children at the MIL’s =7 We hadn’t caught a movie in the theatre in eons, though I suppose once you are a parent you should stop thinking about things like that or get too caught up on what you are missing out on.

It was an enjoyable movie which brought me back to the days when I was a undergrad who had the time to catch 90+ episodes of the Kenshin anime. =7

Grateful for all these little dates that we have, which somehow make me miss and treasure my kids even more.

 

Hectic weekends

Weekends. They are so precious precisely because they are so fleeting. Sigh.  

A description of a typical, hectic weekend is as follows:

Saturday

7am: Calista and Christian wake up. P entertains them while I sleep.

8am: I wake up, we all finish breakfast, change them, take care of all their toileting needs, pack the diaper bag and we race out of the house by 8.45am.

9.15am: We finish trying to find a parking lot at the horrendous HDB carpark near parkway and run with Christian to his piano class.

9.15 – 10am: We catch a breather and try to put Calista to sleep while we walk around..attempt to feed Calista some breakfast (She’s usually fussy and refuses to eat until we bring her out)

10am: Christian’s piano class ends, we drive over to Big Splash, play at the beach or let Christian practice pedaling a trike.

12 – 1pm: Gym class at Big Splash! Calista would have fallen asleep while slung by P in the Baby Bjorn..

1.30pm: Lunch at Nansuttei, Millenia Walk. P loves the ramen and chemical-free pork, Christian likes the fried rice.

3pm: We collapse out of Millenia Walk and head home for a nap.

3.45pm: Christian finally naps, Calista might still be awake and alert thanks to her earlier nap..Either P or I stay awake to entertain her.

6pm: Our only truly free slot of the weekend where we can plan outings or meetups. (Last weekend, we were at XJ’s bridal studio trying on Christian’s pageboy suit, the week before that, we were at cell group..)

We find someplace to have dinner and get home by 9pm to put the children to bed.

Sunday

7am: Calista and Christian wake up. P entertains them while I sleep. (Muahaha. This sounds terrible of me, but I wake up thrice a night to pacify Ms Wang.)

8am: I wake up, we wolf down our breakfast and change them, etc to race out of the house by 8.45am.

9.15: Drive to church and bring Christian to Sunday class.

9.30 – 11am: I am in the baby cry room while P paces up and down putting Calista to sleep in the Baby Bjorn carrier.

11 – 12pm: We find lunch, and go back home. Sometimes we head to the MIL’s instead, if P and I have something on (went to watch Jersey Boys last Sunday, and caught Rurouni Kenshin this Sunday.)

1 – 3pm: Have lunch, shower the children and put them to nap.

3 – 5pm: We take turns napping..

5pm: Off to MIL’s for dinner.

5 – 8pm: Spend time feeding the baby, and showering the two children at MIL’s before driving home..

9pm: Bed time for the children and finally a little time for P and I to discuss big issues like housing, schools, etc, or do mundane stuff like pay bills.

 

Sigh. My children bring me much joy but I can also fully understand why some people choose not to have children =7 P and I have been thinking about making our weekends less hectic so we spend less time rushing from one place to another and packing them all in a car all the time. He thinks we should get down to the basics and spend time with them to mould their character. This was especially after the parent-teacher conference where we heard some disturbing stories about Christian’s behaviour..and after two episodes where Christian tried to bite me while throwing tantrums. Sigh. I suppose P is right that we should focus on building the relationship while we can, and spend time relaxing and talking to them instead of being a harried parent constantly rushing about.

The problem is, what do we give up? We had long debates over what was essential.. and eventually I gave in. We’ll probably stop music class even though I think music learning should start young. He thinks gym class is essential for fostering’s Christian’s psycho-motor skills and confidence, and I agree that is somewhat lacking in Christian right now. P is also in favour of stopping Sunday school. I really struggled with that, but agree that the long drive to Upp Bt Timah just eats up precious time. It will get even worse next year, cos his Chinese class (currently on Thursday evenings) will be pushed to the weekend starting next year, cos his main school timing will change to 11.30am – 4.30pm from next year and it’ll just be too tiring for him to attend Berries at 5pm on a Thursday.

Sometimes I really do miss the carefree couple P and I used to be, where we could do nothing but lounge at Arab St all day, eating ice cream, wandering about and reading..I miss the me time I had, to explore my interests and the world. But I am reminded of the Biblical concept - “different seasons, different things”.. I suppose when this season passes, I will be wistful for those days when every waking moment was spent on my children too. =7

Starhub Family Time–Christian’s 1st TVC

I previously blogged about Christian attending a casting call for a commercial, and about his experience during the TVC. Well the commercial is finally out and I finally talk about it with no confidentiality restrictions!

It took place on the 5th of November. We were a little puzzled as to the storyline, but he was to be part of a family with a sister, father and mother. The stereotypical happy family. I explained to him that he would be acting, that it is so that a director can take a video with a big camera, and that he would see the video on television. (He seldom watches TV so has little idea what an advertisement is.)

Before the shooting of the TVC proper, we had to attend a fitting session. Christian met his “family” for the first time during fitting, and he warmed up to his “sister” Christabel then. I was quite surprised by how good natured he was about changing in and out of 15 outfits, but i’m glad he took everything well.

P took leave cos I am still on probation and unable to take leave. I so wished that I could have been there, but P was kind enough to send me a running commentary and live feed of pictures so I could witness events as they developed.

They started the day at Labrador Park, where they had to shout from a slide, at the “Father” who pretended to be busy with his phone. They then progressed to cycling. Christian had to do most of the work cos the other child model was younger than him and couldn’t cycle. It was hard work and took a looong time.. they progressed to a scene where Christian had some solo shots with the “Father”. The director took to tickling Christian from behind the bench they were sitting, to capture Christian’s unbridled laughter.

After lunch, the crew moved to a beautiful house..Christian pretended to play hide and seek and had to count to 20 at least 40 times. The director / producer kept asking him to repeat the count cos he looked in the wrong direction at the end of counting, or cos it was too fast, too slow, etc. My heart ached for him, cos he must have been tired, but he was so game to just do it without complaint or whining.

Think he had most fun at the flour scene, when he was asked to throw flour at the “parents” while they pretended to bake together. To make a mess without being scolded for it must be a refreshing first for him.

All in, it was a good experience for Christian. We think he enjoyed the attention and pampering (one of the producers was fanning him cos he was in the sun during the baking scene). It was also good to see behind the scenes, how much work goes into a few-second commercial. Free speech and drama training! He even asked me whether we were going back the next day..and was a little sad to know that he wouldn’t be seeing the rest again.

The producers were quite nice..they brought little toy vehicles to coax him into following their direction. They also sent us the video file (instead of merely a link). He appears for only a few seconds, and it’s kinda blink-and-you-miss-him but like my cousin pointed out, it ends on a great note with “Home is where the [insert Christian’s smiling face within a heart] is”-

http://familytime.starhub.com/

The grandparents’ (and I will admit, P’s and mine too) hearts were bursting with pride when they first caught the commercial on Channelnewsasia. ^_^

Jesus is God!

We were having lunch and P was as usual piling his own food onto Christian’s plate.

Christian asked “Why do you love me so much, Daddy?”

P’s reply: “Well, because you are my only son..just like Jesus is God’s only son and that’s why God loves Jesus so much…”

Christian gave a slight frown and said in a patient tone: “Noooo…Jesus is God…. God loves Himseeelf….”

P and I exchanged looks and burst out laughing. ^_^

Christian’s N2 class

His class only has 6 students this year..it will expand to 10 next year, but that’s the maximum intake for his class.

i love that his school is small and cosy.

Here’s a photo of this year’s N2 class, for Christian’s reference in future. (i wonder if he will remember his good friends Andrew and Daryl, or that he once said “i like Nicole a lot, when she wears her ballet dress, she’s very pretty..” Hah.

Smell vs Stench

Out from nowhere, Christian says this while at the breakfast table this morning...

"Mama, I like your smell more than Daddy's smell."

I grin and teased him.."What? Are you saying that I smell???"

Daddy grins and says "Mama doesn't smell. You mean you like her stench right?"

I throw P a dagger-look and poor Christian blurts out

"but..but Mama's stench smells nice..!"

P chuckles and says I have to blog this while I narrow my eyes at him for planting the association "mama-stench" in Christian's head.

Intelligence

P was feeding Calista this evening when he shouted for me to come and see the game they were playing.

“Where? where’s the block” he asked.

She grinned, hid the block that was in her hand behind her back and pretended to look left and right.

“Where?” he asked again.

She whipped out the block with a triumphant flourish and giggled.

Initiating and playing peekaboo is a sign of intelligence…she is developing faster than we anticipated...!

The most beautiful song in the world

Just finished putting Calista to bed, and this thought struck me as she sang in her baby voice “Mamaa…~ Ma~ Ma~… Ma ma ma~” that this baby song of hers is the most beautiful song in the world, to me.

She capped her song by turning to face me and giving me a peck on my cheek.

*heart turns warm and gooey*

Art of the Brick!

I attended the preview event with Christian and P yesterday., cos I thought it might inspire Christian to get more creative with his lego, when he realises the endless possibilities one can pursue, with those tiny bricks.

What a great way to spend our Friday evening! Even though we went waaaay past Christian’s bedtime (got home at 1030pm), I enjoyed marvelling at the exhibits together with Christian and reading the inspiring captions by the artist Nathan. We asked Christian which of the pieces was his favourite, but all he said was “the food! er..no..the toys!” Haha. I appreciated that lego toy stations they had in the middle and at the end of the tour. Was also happy to take silly photos with lego props and received them as freebies.

P and I enjoyed the reception at the end the most though, cos there was a decent live singer singing lounge standards and we could relive a little of our dating days. It helped that there was free cocktails (on an “ice bar”) and yummy canapes too ^_^ All in all, it was a great first trip to the “Lotus” museum Christian had been clamouring to visit.

Update

Work has been keeping me really busy these few weeks. It’s still fun and I do get a little adrenaline rush from rushing all the work and seeing them through completion.

Christian went through his year end concert today. He was most cute, dressed up as a cat. We had a parent teacher meeting a week back, where his teacher said she has no worries about him, academically, but he has to work on his gross motor and confidence. Sigh.

We gave up the parent volunteer offer at St. Hilda’s, partly cos the expected amount of work we needed to do (design and create website, write proposal and canvass for donations for $2million art building, appear at every school event to take photos and create bulletin at end of year, on top of the weekly reading programs we had to turn up at school for) was very onerous, and partly cos P concluded that their results, after taking away the performance of the GEP students, is only as good as our back-up, Maris Stella.

(Sorry if this is greek to my non-Singaporean readers! This has to do with primary school registration..)

After deciding that, we made an offer for a freehold apartment near the future Beauty World mrt. The seller found our offer and revised offer too low, but we were not ready to part with their asking price, so it fell through. We placed a deposit for the leasehold Bartley Residences instead. It’s right next to Bartley MRT and opposite Maris Stella, so even though we are a little apprehensive about this from the viewpoint of a financial investment, we decided to go ahead because we can imagine our children being happy there. Christian can wake up just half an hour before school starts and walk across the overhead bridge to school. He will probably have many schoolmates living in the same development as well, so they can play safely in the playground below.

Oh Christian had his television commercial shoot on the 5th of this month too. That was a fun experience, and I felt my heart bursting with pride as P sent my pictures while I was at work. I could tell that Christian enjoyed it too, cos he asked if he were going back for shooting the following day. I can’t put pictures up until the commercial airs, but don’t worry, I will probably lapse into the proud-peacock-mama and spam everybody with the commercial.

Our new maid Vanessa has arrived from the Philippines. I am so happy for her cheerful help. Calista does not quite allow Vanessa to help feed her and I can see Vanessa stressed whenever Calista whines or cries, but I’m sure she’ll get the hang of it soon.

Calista scares us sometimes with her obstinacy, diva manner, and yet she can be so cute when she sings or hugs me. Yes, new development, singing. She went ‘wei wei…wa wa wa…” in the tune of “Wei1 wei3 bu1 yao2 pa4” just before sleeping tonight. I was puzzled and then realised she must have been singing the song P sings every time he puts her to sleep using the Baby Bjorn carrier. Oh…hearing her giggles at the end of a long day is really priceless. She giggled when I kissed her from head to toe and blew warm air into her ear. I try to remind myself to do that more often, cos they really do grow up so fast.

Blessed

Two days ago, I read the account of how Frances Harrison, the first female BBC Bureau Chief of Iran, juggled motherhood and her journalist career. Reading about how she brought up her child while running out to capture war stories and newslines was fascinating. She revealed that motherhood brought a new perspective.

“At night in Sri Lanka, I would sit under the ceiling fan and rock my tiny baby to sleep in my arms, haunted by the stories I reported by day: tales of torture, mass graves and the agony of the missing fighters' mothers who never received a corpse to mourn. Both sides reeled out casualty statistics like cricket scores, forgetting the people they talked about were once someone's baby, loved and protected.”

What really struck my heart was when I read this:

“For me, what it means to be a good mother is defined by the women I interviewed for my book on the horrific end to the civil war in Sri Lanka. At the height of the fighting in 2009, hundreds of thousands of civilians were shelled and bombed while hiding in flimsy earthen ditches. Mothers used their bodies to protect children from the flying shards of deadly metal. Dying women gave their babies one last breastfeed, knowing they'd otherwise starve in a place where milk cost more than gold. And some discussed suicide together because they couldn't bear to be separated.

One Tamil widow I met has a daughter the same age as my son. The child lost half her body weight in five months from starvation. Surviving against all odds, the mother crawled under barbed wire in the middle of the night with her children to escape an army detention camp, only to get lost in the jungle. She hid in different safe houses every night, dodged rebel informers and somehow reached the unlikely sanctuary of New Malden in south London, where she immediately settled down to prepare her eldest child for the 11-plus school entrance exam. By day it was verbal reasoning, but by night she would comfort her daughter when she woke up screaming because she feared she was back in the war zone. These brave, strong women put the trials of motherhood in perspective.”

Read: “Parenting on the frontline: when the war correspondent became a mother”.

I teared, as I imagined the dying mother who fed her baby as her life slowly faded away. Oh. What can we do for these poor women and babies?

It is time to stop my apathy. I cannot live in wilful ignorance; we should not be able to read things like that and continue living our lives unaffected by others’ misery.

The least we can do right now is to sponsor a child or widow, and i’ve shortlisted two charities. This shall be P’s and my christmas present to each other.

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Reading this makes all my trials seem so trivial. Yesterday i found that I had greater patience than before, while putting Calista to sleep. She resisted bedtime as usual and kept creeping up or flipping over to play and wander about but I was not upset as I mulled at how blessed we are, to live in peace, to have the luxury to not fear, to have time to stare at each other.. as i sang her a lullaby, i am not afraid that a bomb will descend anytime; i am not worried about where i am going to scrape our next meal from.

Thank you Lord for blessing us even though we have done nothing to deserve it.

 

Making a difference

P and I grabbed a copy of the “TODAY” newspaper while on the way to work two days ago, and were pleasantly surprised to read that one of the Ministers commented that the extremely fine differentiation of students’ grades at PSLE should be replaced with grade bands just like at the “O” levels.

I got so excited, I looked up and congratulated P. He has been heard! His suggestion did not go into a black hole! He mused that the politicians will probably try to claim credit for the idea but I told him that at least our children will benefit from the change, even if credit is not given to P.

You see, many months ago, we were talking about the fine differentiation of PSLE scores back at a roundtable discussion with the opposition party. P also wrote into the Forum about this.

See his letter “Keep PSLE but drop T-score” -

Long weekend (Part II)

Went cycling with Christian at East Coast Park for the first time! P was initially bracing himself for the 3 of us riding a canopy-trishaw-like vehicle, but Christian surprised us by lasting 45 mins on a bicycle. Although it had training wheels on, it was still a pleasant surprise cos our past experience of him on bikes was filled with him passing defeatist remarks – “I cannot..” “So difficult..”

Even his teacher remarked that when she got Christian to try out the training BMX bike, he said: “So tiring..” and that he had a tendency to go back to the familiar swing car instead. She got around that by designating him the fire boy on the red fire bike, who had to cycle here n there to put fires out. Kudos to Teacher D for caring and not giving up :)

P brought Calista to Toys R Us while I napped in the afternoon..it was great, except that Calista refused to nap after that, so was very cranky by the time we brought P’s parents to Chomp Chomp. Sigh..she didn’t eat much, and kept wanting us to carry her around. We’ve reached the conclusion that when one has a young baby, it’s best to eat at home..the baby can sleep if she wants to, and won’t refuse food after being distracted by all the bright lights.

We played a game in the car while on the way home. P came up with a “Ask each other the most difficult question you can ask..” game.. and so Christian and I took turns. I asked him questions such as “What is the name of “moon” in Mandarin?” “If you put all your toes and fingers together, how many do you have?” “What is 7 + 2?” “How many grandparents do you have?”

He asked me things like “What is the name of the lights in Mandarin?” “What is 17  + 8?” so nothing prepared me for the most difficult question he threw up – “How many friends did you have when you were small, in primary school?” I was stumped.. P the arbitrator said I had one chance left, before Christian is pronounced winner of the game.. I threw my trump card out “Who do you love more..” Christian immediately shouted “Mama!”, thinking I was asking “Mama or Daddy..” but I asked “Who do you love more, Mama or Christian?”

“Myself!” he said. I pretended to be heartbroken, but Christian was so focused on being the winner he didn’t pay attention to my mock sobs. Oh well. Children. You give them all your love but you know that you’ll always love them more than they you.

The long weekend (Part I)

We had the Hari Raya Haji public holiday this weekend and it was great to be able to spend a substantial amount of time with the kids for the first time since starting work. My colleagues usually ask, “so, how was your weekend?” and I always find it hard to remember what we did, and therefore can’t go beyond the “it was good..” kinda replies.

I probably won’t be able to tell Christian and Calista how we used to spend our weekends, so i might as well record a bit of it here before it all escapes me.

Here is our weekend, in pictures.

FRIDAY

We went to East Coast Park beach in the morning. It had been sometime since we got him some Vitamin D.

It was a terrible rush, but we raced home to drop Calista off, gave Christian a shower, and P sped off to River Valley so I could have my 1st yoga session in 4 months. I was close to giving up and told him “Forget it, let’s just go for lunch” but he was determined. Oh well. They ate at Nansutei while I worked my limbs, and then came back to drive me to facial at Novena. :) I had a good nap at the salon, but woke feeling extremely guilty to read that Calista was wandering from room to room saying “Mama? Mama?” and even checked the bathroom to see if I was there.

In the evening, we walked (Christian skate scooted) to the Wawawa bistro that opened a few months back, at Bedok Reservoir. It was great to take a stress-free dinner cos it was so close to home we could run back if any of the children pooped or wanted anything. The food was better than expected, and Christian and Calista got some nature therapy while waiting for the food to arrive. Christian also managed to have a go at the swings! Perfect. :)

SATURDAY

We went to HESS at Katong for a trial session. (I’m intending to enrol him there for the holiday program.) I was pleasantly surprised by the warm teachers and the amount of effort they put into their Halloween themed week was evident. Christian also warmed up and Teacher L said he was a pleasure to have in class, really talkative and enthusiastic about learning. :) Only area for improvement – writing! P and I also made use of the 2 hours while Christian was in class to take a walk around the Katong neighbourhood and relive our dating days. The place is filled with quaint and new cafes / bakeries, as well as traditional food-craftsmen. We bought a salt-baked chicken and some kueh from Kim Choo back.

He headed to Alpha Gym for his gym class in the afternoon and we did the usual routine of lunch and nap in the afternoon. Thanks to mum taking care of dinner prep, we brought the kids down to the playground for more activity time. Christian skated around confidently but fell down a slope and scraped his knee. His wail could be heard blocks away, I’m sure, but he calmed down after I hugged, carried and told him of how his mother used to fall down every year.

Shall continue Sunday’s activities in another post… especially since Sunday is not over yet! =P

Extraverts

I am reading the e-book “Nurture by Nature”, which attempts to influence readers to customise their parenting style according to the personality types of their children.

They have written the description to the Type model focused on the child, rather than the adult with that same preference, so that it is unnecessary to try to extrapolate the child’s tendencies from adult descriptions.

I wasn’t quite sure whether Christian was extraverted or introverted since he can be shy around strangers (which might just be a peculiar trait of children in general, rather than a personality trait). But reading this, I think Christian is clearly extraverted -

“The Extravert’s attention is drawn outward and is easily engaged by anything happening outside of the self. Extraverted children tend to get overexcited by the onslaught of stimulation and need other people to talk with in order to make sense of it all. Because they naturally prefer the world outside of themselves, Extraverted children learn best by interacting with the world in a very engaged, physical, and verbal way. They tend to be loud, vocal, and sometimes demanding, especially when they are little. Once they begin to put their words together, their speech seems to occur as an explosion. Many parents say that once their Exxtraverted children began to talk, they never stopped! in fact, they often insist that they be heard. Since they tend to think out loud, they often give quite long and involved explanations and stories. And, because they form most of what they want to say as they are saying it, it’s easy for them to lose their train of thought if they are interrupted or made to wait their turn to speak.

..for the very same reasons, Extraverted children frequently interrupt others, unable to hold onto any thought or idea for any length of time without expressing it. When you interrupt an Extraverted child’s words, you interfere with her thinking.

Extraverted children prefer the outer world because that’s where they are the most stimulated and feel most alive. Their natural expressiveness demonstrates itself in both words and actions – with great energy, bustle, and activity in everything they do. They may find it next to impossible to play alone for any period of time and need at least one person around them to help them get through the more introverted tasks like homework. For example, many Extraverted children find the kitchen table a much better place to get homework done. Left alone in a room, they become distracted, bored, or rambunctious as their energy drains away. They need other people around in order to keep their brains awake. Most of the behavior problems Extraverted children have in school are the direct result of being confined to a chair, and required to work for an extended period of time on a paper-and-pencil activity in a room where silence must be maintained.”

Your children are not your children

I came across this poem while reading a parenting e-book today and it spoke to me.

“On Children
Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.”

TEN

Well, children. 5 days ago marked Daddy’s and Mama’s 10th Dating Anniversary. Mama and Daddy celebrated by going to Au Chocolat at MBS for lunch, but there was little fanfare otherwise. I thought of getting something for Daddy but didn’t go beyond Royce chocolates and a little card. The two of us would love to have gone for a holiday to mark the occasion but it was not quite possible since I had just started a new job and your Daddy had used up most of his leave to study for various courses.

I did think about it though, and thought that perhaps I should post something here just so you two could understand how your Daddy and I met, dated, and got married. (Inspired by Christian’s questions on how he would know how to find the right one. Gosh. These questions are popping up way earlier than expected.) So, here’s the story, in case some tragic event happens and I never get to watch you two grow up and you never get to ask me:

Your Daddy and I met in university in May/June 2001. It was the faculty orientation, and I was asked to go around in some ridiculous cheerleader outfit. Your Daddy (the superficial one) said I caught his eye because I was in a Union Jack tank top and a short skirt. – __ – I hardly paid him any attention. Slowly over the course of a year though, I found out that he liked me.. and boy was he romantic. He wooed with poems, and gifts stuck in my locker..by being around, and my heart would skip a beat when we met to study before lectures / tutorials. It was a little complicated, cos I was actually still in another relationship when we met, so nothing really happened until I broke up with this other guy in early 2002. I felt horrible, but well, I think my heart was not there and I don’t think I really loved that guy even though we got along rather well. Your Daddy and I were torn between propriety and raging hormones and did not get together until late 2002. One thing that irked me was, he never did “Ask the question”, but just assumed that I was going to be his girlfriend after dating. We therefore do not have a definite date to mark the start of our relationship.. but 16 Oct 2002 was a special date to us, and we used it as a marker for keeping count.

Here’s some pictures to show you how young, carefree and happy we were. Well, that’s not to say that we are miserable now, though we definitely do feel the burden of cares a lot more these days..

 

I forgot to add..the journey has not been easy. We started off with quite a lot of drama due to miscommunication (our 1st dates were filled with awkward silences and silent bus trips..although the chemistry was sizzling (then), we had no idea what the other was thinking.)

We’ve learnt to adapt to each other:

- different bio-clocks (your daddy used to wake the minute the sun shone into the room, whilst I could keep snoring on till 11am if left alone);

- different food preferences (daddy educated me on the goodness of oatmeal and goat’s milk)

- different sleep habits (i could not live without aircon, daddy used to get blocked noses from sleeping in airconditioned rooms..but eventually he came round to the benefits of sleeping in a room where the windows could be closed fully to block the traffic noise)

We’ve also had to learn to live without each other for a while..this happened twice, in our 2nd  year of relationship when we were sent to different cities for exchange (he to Toronto, and I to Halifax)..as well as in our first year of marriage, when Daddy worked in Hong Kong for a while.

Things are still not all rosy and smooth sailing now, but I am grateful to have found a soulmate and life partner to weather all the storms and cross the hurdles with. I thank him for spotting and picking me out from the crowd so many years ago..he has become a worm in my stomach, one who knows me so well, sometimes even better than I do myself.

This I wish for you two, my children. To find a soulmate God means for you to have, one who understands you, loves you, one who laughs along with you and whom inspires you to be a better person. Hopefully by looking at us, you will understand what it is you want in a life partner, and I won’t tear my hair out the first time you bring a girlfriend / boyfriend home. ^_^

Incoherent thoughts of a sleep deprived time strapped mum

Knock-knock is your favourite phrase of the week. You say it in the most adorable manner, after you bump your head against the floor/my head/the cot rail. “Norknork?” you go…

Our pre-bedtime routine now includes an investigation of my belly button. I think it’s the grossest thing after having my belly stretched twice by your brother and you, but you think it’s the most interesting thing on earth. I’d attempt to put you to bed after feeding you, but you are now not content to just turn on your side to sleep. Not until you lift my shirt up, find my belly button, mutter babyspeak, and attempt to touch your own belly button through your pjs.

My heart softens when you eventually lie on your belly, with your chin on My belly, and poke around my belly button, fascinated. You’d even shower my belly button with baby kisses. Mmm-mak, mmm-mak, you’d go.

I love it when you and I are entangled together. Your baby arm hooking my neck, my face close to yours. Sometimes you’d be so amused and attempt to play with my lip by letting it go ‘thwack’ against my teeth. I’d pretend to chomp down on your fingers and  you’d squeal with excitement. I remember playing the exact same game with my dad..and now I know why he let me do so. It’s probably cos that’s the only way to keep me/you content, and within a breath’s length of him/me, for more than 15 seconds.

I love the way you toddle. Uncertainly. Sideways. Crab-like. Some part of me feels like you are growing too fast for my liking, although almost walking at almost 15 months is rather belated by most standards.

You and your brother are the highlight of my day, the source of most of my worries but also the source of most of my joy.

The mama of his children

We had a most amusing exchange today, while I drove him back from gym class (gym class deserves a separate blog post of its own, so I won’t go into that for nowur o).

I was recounting how excited Calista was to see Christian come home earlier today, and described in vivid detail how she went “gorgorr” once she heard his voice, whimpered a little till i asked if she wanted to leave the room, nodded emphatically, and scurried out to see him. The smile that she gives him, with the light going all the way up to her crinkly eyes, is simply so sweet.

Anyway, he was asking why she needed so much sleep etc., and I explained that Calista was small and had lots of growing up to do. He started counting his age.. 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. He paused at 10 and asked if he was going to primary school at 10. A

And so the topic turned to the different types of school at the different ages. He asked where he would be at 19, and I told him “probably in the army”. He was sanguine about it, having heard of this from his dad before. He then asked 'what about 20?” I threw the question back at him, and he said “I will go and find a girlfriend then.”

I burst out laughing, before asking why he needed to search for a girlfriend.

“So that my children will have a mama…”

I asked him how he was going to find her.. and he replied with a little note of worry ‘I don’t know… will she be a stepmother??”

Boy was I tickled. After some explaining on the definition of stepmother, he concluded that the woman he finds will not be a stepmother, because the babies will ‘come out from her right’.

The clincher was when he asked “But i don’t know..how to find one with an egg inside?”

Surprised and bemused, I decided it was time to deflect this back to the person who started my son’s sex ed with talk of eggs etc. “Oh, go ask your father.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On a side note, it’s been a while since I had a blog-worthy conversation with Christian. It made me realise that I’ve had very little one-on-one time with him ever since the maid left…his deepest thoughts and fears are revealed only when he has some personal time with his daddy and I.

And his father’s take on this was..children have their own worries too, even if they don’t tell us, and although we may think they are ridiculous. It must be the same for God, who looks down at us and our all-consuming fears about life, amused at our trivialities.

Random observations of the past 2 weeks

- Calista has learnt how to say 'please'..when prompted, she'll say 'pease' and nod emphatically. it really is so cute to watch.

- Oh and her nodding. When asked whether she wants this or that, she'll nod and then beam when her wants are understood by us. It is so rewarding for us to try and understand her..baby smiles are God's incentive for parents to be patient and reach out to their babies.

- Christian really likes gym class. He likes tumbling around, being assisted to do a backward roll, jumping and bouncing. We signed him up with a gym on recommendation by his classmate's mum..think he'll prob enjoy that the most, over his Berries Chinese, Music class and Sunday school. Gosh we were also thinking that he needs to learn swimming. How do other parents with multiple kids juggle the enrichment schedule?!

- it's only been a week of work but I am looking forward to the public holiday. sigh. it's so painful leaving calista behind as she reaches both arms out to me and cries 'mamamama', her whole body straining to be where I am
='(

Crafts

We had to make an aquarium out of a shoe box and lazy mummy (who happens to be maid-less) was so happy to find an appropriate foam art kit at Popular bookstore.

Christian plucked and pasted and followed the picture to make a picture collage which I stuck onto the insides of the aquarium.

He also had fun with his sand art aeroplane. I’m glad he finally has the patience to sit down and see through a piece of ‘work’.

Christian’s trip to the Central Fire Station

This term’s theme is on “People who Help us”. They’ve been learning about postmen, firemen, doctors etc. In line with the theme, his school organised an outing to the Central Fire Station. I had been meaning to bring him after our last trip to the Alexandra Fire Station, for the kind officer there informed me that there is a museum next to the Central Fire Station which displays antique fire engines and has other interesting exhibits for children.

The outing took place during the F1 weekend, so a lot of the vehicles were on standby and the station tour was curtailed somewhat. He nonetheless enjoyed badgering the officer with lots of questions, and managed to fuel his fascination with ambulances by getting into one for a look-see.

The pictures above were part of the follow-on activity…we were supposed to come up with captions together for his “show ‘n’ tell” this week. We were also supposed to visit the Philatelic museum just next door for him to post a postcard to his teacher and experience for himself the postal system.

Glad that his school makes the subjects come alive with initiatives like that.

Christian’s 4th Birthday

It’s the 23rd of September again!

We started off with having a celebration in school on Friday 21st. He had a 2kg “Cars” cake which was very well-received by the children who kept asking for seconds.

I was very pleased when he asked to give out the goodie bags himself. The goodie bags contained a sand art pack, a vehicle eraser, and an Earth’s Best snack bar.

We gave out some chocs at Sunday school to the children and I was surprised to see that he had a gift from the Sunday school teachers. It was a children’s book on Jesus’ first miracle.

We went to Cedele for lunch after church and thought it appropriate that he had a bread buffet for his birthday, given that he goes nuts over bread.

We cut a cake back home, with gonggong and popo, and were so stuffed. The little girl lurved the cake, and even helped herself by sticking her finger into the cream and licking it up.

After nap, it was off to Pitzitalia to meet his nainai and yeye, aunt and cousins… He had lots of fun with his older cousin at the free indoor playground, though the place was undergoing renovations and was partly closed.

All the festivities have left P and I rather exhausted. I’m so looking forward to a fuss-free stay-home weekend next week.